Here's wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas, and continued success in the New Year! To those who don't celebrate, have a nice long weekend!!
xoxox
A
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
It's Been A While
Since I posted.... not sure why I am reading and commenting and not posting, maybe I am in a rut? Work has been busy, so there's that old excuse, or the holidays, which are busy too.
I am gaining and losing the same two pounds lately- very frustrating! I am down forty so far, which is awesome, but I want that last eight pounds gone before the new year! Need to re-double my efforts, and watch the portions, I suspect. Also, water seems to be eluding me as well. I need to drink more water! It's often a matter of having it in front of me, especially at work, where I can get immersed in something or other, and only drink a few cups of water.
I missed my fill appointment- need to reschedule that as well. I am due back on 1/3, so I may wait until then. I have been pbing a little, and eating more than a cup at a time- very confusing! It often depends on the time of day, and what the food item is. I still need to pay closer attention, and make better decisions. Isn't that always the way??
I am still here, reading your blogs, and rooting for all of you!
All my love during this holiday season to you and your families.
xoxoxox
Annie
I am gaining and losing the same two pounds lately- very frustrating! I am down forty so far, which is awesome, but I want that last eight pounds gone before the new year! Need to re-double my efforts, and watch the portions, I suspect. Also, water seems to be eluding me as well. I need to drink more water! It's often a matter of having it in front of me, especially at work, where I can get immersed in something or other, and only drink a few cups of water.
I missed my fill appointment- need to reschedule that as well. I am due back on 1/3, so I may wait until then. I have been pbing a little, and eating more than a cup at a time- very confusing! It often depends on the time of day, and what the food item is. I still need to pay closer attention, and make better decisions. Isn't that always the way??
I am still here, reading your blogs, and rooting for all of you!
All my love during this holiday season to you and your families.
xoxoxox
Annie
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Big 40!
That's right! Today I officially hit the big 40 in my weight loss journey! More good news is that the fridge is fixed!
What a wonderful day!
xoxoxox
A
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Thanksgiving Miracle!
Morning Hotties!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, and enjoyed every morsel that passed through your band!
I had a great weekend- Thanksgiving was an adventure- I am learning how to live with my band (still un-named), and how to chew, chew, chew. With my new tightness, I was able to still enjoy all of the wonderful morsels, but just in much less quantity. I had a couple of glasses of wine (definitely seems to help loosen things up), turkey and all the trimmings. I tried a cresent roll- not good. My first instinct was to drink to push it through, but I stopped myself, and simply breathed. I stood up, walked around (made like I was getting a drink for my daughter), and by the time I got back to the table, it was fine. It did make me slow down a lot, which is awesome. I had a few bites of mocha hazelnut cream pie- wow! Sweet! Too sweet! I had a massive headache for the rest of the night- not sure if it was from the wine or the sugar, but let's say it's the sugar- more of a deterrent!
Yesterday was interesting. Our refrigerator broke- boo hoo. I threw out a ton of stuff from the freezer, but saved some things that we could keep in the cooler on the deck on ice and cook in the next couple of days. I am hoping that it can be fixed- my hubby and my brother in law are very handy, and together they figured out the defective part in the compressor, and are out buying it now- and hopefully fixing it later this morning. The angels were looking out for me, because I was on my way out to go food shopping- lucky for us, that didn't happen! The frige cam with the house we bought last year, and is top of the line, and only 5 years old- I am really hoping not to have to replace it since it has the nice matching panels from our cabinets on it, and looks nice. If worse comes to worse, we will buy a new one- maybe stainless steel? That was my preference, but I was happy enough with what came with the house not to change it.
And I lost 5 POUNDS!!!! Yay!
Everyone should have these problems. I am thankful that I have the life I have, the love I have, and the friends and support system (you guys!) that I have as well.
xoxoxo
A
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, and enjoyed every morsel that passed through your band!
I had a great weekend- Thanksgiving was an adventure- I am learning how to live with my band (still un-named), and how to chew, chew, chew. With my new tightness, I was able to still enjoy all of the wonderful morsels, but just in much less quantity. I had a couple of glasses of wine (definitely seems to help loosen things up), turkey and all the trimmings. I tried a cresent roll- not good. My first instinct was to drink to push it through, but I stopped myself, and simply breathed. I stood up, walked around (made like I was getting a drink for my daughter), and by the time I got back to the table, it was fine. It did make me slow down a lot, which is awesome. I had a few bites of mocha hazelnut cream pie- wow! Sweet! Too sweet! I had a massive headache for the rest of the night- not sure if it was from the wine or the sugar, but let's say it's the sugar- more of a deterrent!
Yesterday was interesting. Our refrigerator broke- boo hoo. I threw out a ton of stuff from the freezer, but saved some things that we could keep in the cooler on the deck on ice and cook in the next couple of days. I am hoping that it can be fixed- my hubby and my brother in law are very handy, and together they figured out the defective part in the compressor, and are out buying it now- and hopefully fixing it later this morning. The angels were looking out for me, because I was on my way out to go food shopping- lucky for us, that didn't happen! The frige cam with the house we bought last year, and is top of the line, and only 5 years old- I am really hoping not to have to replace it since it has the nice matching panels from our cabinets on it, and looks nice. If worse comes to worse, we will buy a new one- maybe stainless steel? That was my preference, but I was happy enough with what came with the house not to change it.
And I lost 5 POUNDS!!!! Yay!
Everyone should have these problems. I am thankful that I have the life I have, the love I have, and the friends and support system (you guys!) that I have as well.
xoxoxo
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Turkeys, and um...TURKEYS!
Hello there you 33 Goddesses!
Happy Turkey Eve!
I just erased a whole paragraph on the perils of project management. I love my job, and my employer. I am thankful to all of the wonderful people I interact with, and on this eve of the thankful day, I need to remember that all of the unique personalities make up the greater whole. To all of you special folks out there- THANK YOU! Without you, I wouldn't be needed so desperately in my role as organizer, reminder, and creative genius.
Kumbaya.
xoxoxo
A
Happy Turkey Eve!
I just erased a whole paragraph on the perils of project management. I love my job, and my employer. I am thankful to all of the wonderful people I interact with, and on this eve of the thankful day, I need to remember that all of the unique personalities make up the greater whole. To all of you special folks out there- THANK YOU! Without you, I wouldn't be needed so desperately in my role as organizer, reminder, and creative genius.
Kumbaya.
xoxoxo
A
Monday, November 22, 2010
Pretty Good Restriction
This past weekend was interesting, food wise. I had my fill on Friday, and was super careful all day and most of Saturday with mostly liquids and mushies. I did go to a dinner party on Saturday night solo- hubby was watching the kids- and had a few drinks. Wow. I feel like it hit me very hard. I did have two Manhattans, and a glass of wine at dinner, but still. This was over the course of five hours- I should not have been so rocked.
Anywho, yesterday morning, I instinctively made a fried egg sandwich- egg, cheese, ketchup, butter, toast. I couldn't wait to take a huge bite with a big glass of diet iced tea.
WWWWWAAAAAIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
Hello?? Annie??? It's me, your, um... band. You're not suppossed to eat fast, eat much, or drink whilst eating, remember?? I tuned that b*tch out big time.
The first bite was huge and delicious, until...until...this horrific feeling came over me. I quickly took a large swig of icy cold iced tea.
Um. Ow. Ugh...
Hubby: "You okay, baby?"
Me: "Um...Uh...."
2 year old princess: "Mommy...you're scaring us!!!!"
Um.....
Ran to garbage can and hurled up what looked like 10X the amount I ate, including the iced tea.
Yeah, so I'm tight.
I have to say that eating and drinking together is a major no-no for me. I think it expands the food in the stoma, or something, because it's the worst.
I miss having large gulps of water!
Okay, it's fine. I will deal with it.
Like three people told me I look great today!
Woohoo!
xooxox
A
Anywho, yesterday morning, I instinctively made a fried egg sandwich- egg, cheese, ketchup, butter, toast. I couldn't wait to take a huge bite with a big glass of diet iced tea.
WWWWWAAAAAIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
Hello?? Annie??? It's me, your, um... band. You're not suppossed to eat fast, eat much, or drink whilst eating, remember?? I tuned that b*tch out big time.
The first bite was huge and delicious, until...until...this horrific feeling came over me. I quickly took a large swig of icy cold iced tea.
Um. Ow. Ugh...
Hubby: "You okay, baby?"
Me: "Um...Uh...."
2 year old princess: "Mommy...you're scaring us!!!!"
Um.....
Ran to garbage can and hurled up what looked like 10X the amount I ate, including the iced tea.
Yeah, so I'm tight.
I have to say that eating and drinking together is a major no-no for me. I think it expands the food in the stoma, or something, because it's the worst.
I miss having large gulps of water!
Okay, it's fine. I will deal with it.
Like three people told me I look great today!
Woohoo!
xooxox
A
Friday, November 19, 2010
2nd Fill
So, today I had my second fill. I am at 5.5 cc's in a 10cc band. I am happy to report that I have lost 9lbs in the 3 or so weeks since my first fill- yay! The better news is that I have not been an "ideal bandster",a nd still managed to lose 3lbs a week. I am happy about that because I know that with more effort on my part (which I am committed to bring) I will be even more successful in three weeks when I get weighed again!
I am feeling re-energized since I got such positive feedback at my appointment today. I met with both the PA and the nutritionist, and both were happy with my progress, and re-inforced the need to be in the "green zone" or sweet spot, to get maximum return for my investment. I am committed to losing a significant amount pre-Christmas. Like 15lbs. I think that is realistic. My last three weeks were plagued with the Halloween candy, the trip to Maine, etc. I know the biggie- Thanksgiving- is upon us, but I am hoping that my positive attitude and my latest fill will help me make the right choices.
The thing I want to convey is the importance of making good choices. It's hard. Especially with the pressures of family, work, and social lives upon us. The most successful among us seem to be the most disciplined. That's awesome. I would love to be more disciplined, but sometimes it's not my top priority. If I can be 80% good, that's where I believe I will have the best balance of weight loss and emotional stability. I am a little scared of getting to goal- whatever that is! At the point when my weight isn't the biggest obstacle for me personally, then what? I guess I will be figuring that out while losing the weight, and that's pretty exciting too.
Happy weekend wishes to all you sexy things out there!
xoxox
A
I am feeling re-energized since I got such positive feedback at my appointment today. I met with both the PA and the nutritionist, and both were happy with my progress, and re-inforced the need to be in the "green zone" or sweet spot, to get maximum return for my investment. I am committed to losing a significant amount pre-Christmas. Like 15lbs. I think that is realistic. My last three weeks were plagued with the Halloween candy, the trip to Maine, etc. I know the biggie- Thanksgiving- is upon us, but I am hoping that my positive attitude and my latest fill will help me make the right choices.
The thing I want to convey is the importance of making good choices. It's hard. Especially with the pressures of family, work, and social lives upon us. The most successful among us seem to be the most disciplined. That's awesome. I would love to be more disciplined, but sometimes it's not my top priority. If I can be 80% good, that's where I believe I will have the best balance of weight loss and emotional stability. I am a little scared of getting to goal- whatever that is! At the point when my weight isn't the biggest obstacle for me personally, then what? I guess I will be figuring that out while losing the weight, and that's pretty exciting too.
Happy weekend wishes to all you sexy things out there!
xoxox
A
Thursday, November 11, 2010
College Football
Hi there,
So, I follow a lot of bandsters that are football fans. I have to say that it seems like a lot of fun! I went to St. John's (no football), and NYU (no football). In fact, the sports teams at NYU were the "Violets"- not a very football friendly name. Crimson Tide vs. Violets? Not so much.
I have neveer tailgated, camped in a camper, gone to a college football game, or even thought about it. I had two boyfriends who were sports fans- and went to a couple of Jets and Giants games over the years, but never had the whole experience of tailgating, partying, eating seven layer dip, or anything. Wah.
So, have fun all you football fans! I won't be watching from the big screen, but I will be looking forward to the posts, and pics.
Roll Tide?
xxxooo
So, I follow a lot of bandsters that are football fans. I have to say that it seems like a lot of fun! I went to St. John's (no football), and NYU (no football). In fact, the sports teams at NYU were the "Violets"- not a very football friendly name. Crimson Tide vs. Violets? Not so much.
I have neveer tailgated, camped in a camper, gone to a college football game, or even thought about it. I had two boyfriends who were sports fans- and went to a couple of Jets and Giants games over the years, but never had the whole experience of tailgating, partying, eating seven layer dip, or anything. Wah.
So, have fun all you football fans! I won't be watching from the big screen, but I will be looking forward to the posts, and pics.
Roll Tide?
xxxooo
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Restriction? What Restriction??
Hello there!
I am still upbeat, but not quite as much as Monday, when I had my pre-TOM "burst of energy". Does anyone else have this happen to them? What happens is that the day before my monthly visitor comes a calling, I get very energetic, and start to feel fantastic. I clean, do laundry, stay up late playing facebook games, and don't think about eating. The next day...whoomp. Bloated. Yuck. My weight is up like four pounds this week, which is not good, considering the challenge that I am participating in !!!!!!
The good news is that I always lose weight after my monthly visitor leaves town.
On a food note, I made Giada's butternut squash lasagne over the weekend for my hubby. First of all, it is amazingly delicious. Second of all, it's not suppossed to be "band friendly"- pasta? I didn't think I would be able to indulge ever. Third of all, I ate it Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. A pretty big piece too- probably a 4"x4" slice. Not stuck. Not even stuffed. What's happening to me????? I want my restriction back. Wah!
I have been snacking, which I know is a sign that a fill is due, so the timing is perfect, because, my second fill is coming up in a week and a half.
Meanwhile, I am down between 34-39 pounds, depending on the day. I am looking forward to the big 4-0 (not that I thought I would ever say that!)
This weekend we are off to Cape Elizabeth, Maine (near Portland) for my neice Clara's Christening. The hubby, munchkin, and I are going, and my family will be there too. Hopefully everyone will get along and be happy.
More later??
xoxoox
A
I am still upbeat, but not quite as much as Monday, when I had my pre-TOM "burst of energy". Does anyone else have this happen to them? What happens is that the day before my monthly visitor comes a calling, I get very energetic, and start to feel fantastic. I clean, do laundry, stay up late playing facebook games, and don't think about eating. The next day...whoomp. Bloated. Yuck. My weight is up like four pounds this week, which is not good, considering the challenge that I am participating in !!!!!!
The good news is that I always lose weight after my monthly visitor leaves town.
On a food note, I made Giada's butternut squash lasagne over the weekend for my hubby. First of all, it is amazingly delicious. Second of all, it's not suppossed to be "band friendly"- pasta? I didn't think I would be able to indulge ever. Third of all, I ate it Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. A pretty big piece too- probably a 4"x4" slice. Not stuck. Not even stuffed. What's happening to me????? I want my restriction back. Wah!
I have been snacking, which I know is a sign that a fill is due, so the timing is perfect, because, my second fill is coming up in a week and a half.
Meanwhile, I am down between 34-39 pounds, depending on the day. I am looking forward to the big 4-0 (not that I thought I would ever say that!)
This weekend we are off to Cape Elizabeth, Maine (near Portland) for my neice Clara's Christening. The hubby, munchkin, and I are going, and my family will be there too. Hopefully everyone will get along and be happy.
More later??
xoxoox
A
Monday, November 8, 2010
I Feel Good
Yes, I do. I feel great. Why, you ask? Well, I am not certain, but I think it has to do with protien and vitamins! You see, I took my vitamins last night, after a week or so of slacking off. I feel freakin' fantastic! I didn't weigh myself today, so that's not it. I didn't get a 50K raise and promotion today (which I deserve! :) I simply feel fanstastic.
Work is grand. No problems, all is clear. Of course, there are the normal irritations, but I love my job, and my job loves me, so it's all good. At home? Things are also groovy. My hubby is in a good place, and I love spending time with my munchkin. She is two and a half almost, and so funny. She takes after my husband in that regard- he is both fun and funny! Anyway, my daughter says to me as I am putting her to bed- "Mommy, you have blinkers!" "Blinkers?" "No, not blinkers, STINKERS!" She just burst out laughing. So cute. I want to keep her my love bug forever, but I can say that I am enjoying her through every stage.
My philosophy in life is to "enjoy this stage of your life". Single? Embrace it! Get a trainer, get a pocketbook fetish, spend the day at the spa with your girlfriends! Dating, but not married? Go away for the weekend, order the second bottle of wine! Have as much sex as possible!! Engaged? Bask in the attention! Spend time on the details! Enjoy the anticipation and excitement! Newlyweds? Well, you get the idea. Now that I have moved from several of these phases into wedded bliss and motherhood, I am enjoying this phase of my life too. As my weight creeps down, the enjoyment creeps up. I feel more alive, and like I am participating in my life. I no longer want to waste time being angry, ashamed, pissed off, hostile, etc. This is my life! I will never be this young ever again! Powerful, huh?
It's heavy shit, but it's my journey. I strive to be the better person, the more generous, the friendlier, the giver, the gracious, the listener. The more I give of myself, the more I receive. It's what I truly believe. I am not taking about being a selfless doormat- no. I mean to really transcend the stupid and petty things that bother me and just live and be happy, and FEEL GOOD!
xoxoxo
A
PS- I can't believe I now have thirty followers! Thanks guys!
Friday, November 5, 2010
SUSHI?? SUSHI!!!!
Okay, so you may not get the reference from the title- Monsters, Inc. Anywhoozle. I ate 2 sushi rolls yesterday- spicy California roll, and spicy tuna. Lots of wasabi. Loved it. At first, I thought I was going to be stuck- it sat there for about five seconds, but I slowed w a y down and got to enjoy my sushi.
The first thing that comes to mind is that I may not be restricted enough. The sushi was almost an experiment- it was a special occassion, and I really wanted it, but I know that many of you have problems with rice. The fact that I could eat two rolls was slightly disturbing, but I was full for the rest of the day.
I am getting another fill in two weeks- I will be sure to bring it up then.
On another positive note- I am down two pounds so far this week. I am looking forward to continuing the downward trend, and now that the halloween candy and sushi are out of my system, I am back on track. My plan today is to DRINK MORE WATER! I used to drink water constantly, but seem to have slowed down since I got banded.
Hope everyone is well, and looking forward to a great weekend!!
xoxox
A
The first thing that comes to mind is that I may not be restricted enough. The sushi was almost an experiment- it was a special occassion, and I really wanted it, but I know that many of you have problems with rice. The fact that I could eat two rolls was slightly disturbing, but I was full for the rest of the day.
I am getting another fill in two weeks- I will be sure to bring it up then.
On another positive note- I am down two pounds so far this week. I am looking forward to continuing the downward trend, and now that the halloween candy and sushi are out of my system, I am back on track. My plan today is to DRINK MORE WATER! I used to drink water constantly, but seem to have slowed down since I got banded.
Hope everyone is well, and looking forward to a great weekend!!
xoxox
A
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Food, Glorious Food!
After a few missteps with the halloween candy, and the halloween candy, and did I mention the halloween candy, I am back on the wagon.
I have been ill the last couple of days- sore throat, headache, etc., and home with the halloween candy. I ate some. I didn't eat all of it, but it went down easy. I feel bad.
So, here's the good news and the bad news. Ready?? The good news is that I have lost 2lbs. The bad news is that I probably could have lost a lot more!! Back on programme today (no, I am not British, but felt like spelling it that way!)
Today I started the day with a protien shake- always a good move for me. Starts me out right! I had a spinach and feta egg white omelete with rye toast and coleslaw. Ate more than I should have, but know I will not eat much for dinner now, so still feeling semi-virtuous. My fill is there, but not stopping me from over eating. I have had one or two incidents where I thought I was pb'ing, but I think I was eating too fast.
Things to work on:
- Eat smaller bites
- Drink more water
- No water with meals
- No more candy
Okay. Feel better now.
xoxox
A
I have been ill the last couple of days- sore throat, headache, etc., and home with the halloween candy. I ate some. I didn't eat all of it, but it went down easy. I feel bad.
So, here's the good news and the bad news. Ready?? The good news is that I have lost 2lbs. The bad news is that I probably could have lost a lot more!! Back on programme today (no, I am not British, but felt like spelling it that way!)
Today I started the day with a protien shake- always a good move for me. Starts me out right! I had a spinach and feta egg white omelete with rye toast and coleslaw. Ate more than I should have, but know I will not eat much for dinner now, so still feeling semi-virtuous. My fill is there, but not stopping me from over eating. I have had one or two incidents where I thought I was pb'ing, but I think I was eating too fast.
Things to work on:
- Eat smaller bites
- Drink more water
- No water with meals
- No more candy
Okay. Feel better now.
xoxox
A
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Happy Halloween!
Hello there friends!So, it's that time again, the time for the start of the holiday season! We had a halloween party today for the kids- what fun! I made butternut squash soup, roasted veggies, and we ordered pizza- naturally. I had one piece- a NSV!
Hope everyone had fun!
xoxo
A
Hope everyone had fun!
xoxo
A
Thursday, October 28, 2010
First Challenge!
I am joining the Holiday Challenge- yay! What motivation!! I don't know how to do a challenge, but I think I can figure it out. I am down a couple of pounds this week so far, it's hard to tell though. I will officially weigh myself on Monday- which will be a week since my first fill.
Work is crazy. AARRGGHHH!!!!
I feel better now.
We are planning a Halloween party for this Sunday for my immediate family. It should be fun. I will be good foodwise- everyone knows I am banded, and my Mom is probably going to watch me like a hawk.
xoxo
A
Work is crazy. AARRGGHHH!!!!
I feel better now.
We are planning a Halloween party for this Sunday for my immediate family. It should be fun. I will be good foodwise- everyone knows I am banded, and my Mom is probably going to watch me like a hawk.
xoxo
A
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Out of the Closet
Yesterday I was drinking my protien shake in a meeting, and when the topic of lunch came up I declined, pointed to my drink, and said no thanks, I am on a diet. (I work with mostly women, and most of us are on a diet constantly- it's not a dirty word here). Someone chimed in "you should join weight watchers!" I replied- "I have a lap band, and received my first adjustment yesterday- so I am on liquids right now, but thanks for the suggestion!"
The room went silent. I didn't care. It felt empowering! People started saying- "great, good for you!", and "if I wasn't getting both knees done in January, I would be getting one too!". So...I am out of the closet. It's okay- I wasn't sure at first if I was going to "keep it a secret" or not. I mean really, is it a secret that I am fat? Umm...no. The fact is that there are many obese people in my organization, and if I can be a role model, than I want to be that. I like that it makes me accountable to my goals, my band, and those people I share with. It's permanent. It's who I am now. The fact that my employer paid health plan covered all of my expenses, and that I did not have to have a six month waiting period, or any hoops to jump through is amazing. I didn't have any of the troubles a lot of bandsters have. I went to the seminar at NYU, made the appointment with the surgeon, got cleared by my primary, and scheduled the surgery. That's it.
xoxoxo
A
The room went silent. I didn't care. It felt empowering! People started saying- "great, good for you!", and "if I wasn't getting both knees done in January, I would be getting one too!". So...I am out of the closet. It's okay- I wasn't sure at first if I was going to "keep it a secret" or not. I mean really, is it a secret that I am fat? Umm...no. The fact is that there are many obese people in my organization, and if I can be a role model, than I want to be that. I like that it makes me accountable to my goals, my band, and those people I share with. It's permanent. It's who I am now. The fact that my employer paid health plan covered all of my expenses, and that I did not have to have a six month waiting period, or any hoops to jump through is amazing. I didn't have any of the troubles a lot of bandsters have. I went to the seminar at NYU, made the appointment with the surgeon, got cleared by my primary, and scheduled the surgery. That's it.
xoxoxo
A
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tummy Rumblings
Hey there, on liquids, and have the constant tummy rumbles! Is it gas, hunger, the band in action??? Who knows! I am loving being on liquids, it seems to make life easier, somehow. It's so restrictive, and almost impossible to cheat "a little".
Tomorrow is mushies- yeah! Yogurt, my love! I love chobani. Love it.
I also love Pacific Something Carrrot Ginger Soup- love in a mug. I just had some, and it's warm, yummy, spicy. Yum!
Quickie. More later?
xoxoxo
Tomorrow is mushies- yeah! Yogurt, my love! I love chobani. Love it.
I also love Pacific Something Carrrot Ginger Soup- love in a mug. I just had some, and it's warm, yummy, spicy. Yum!
Quickie. More later?
xoxoxo
Monday, October 25, 2010
View from the Other Side
Had my first fill today- 4.0 cc's in my 10 cc band. I sipped the water at the end of the visit, and definatley feel something- and I am burping. Weird. My next appointment is in 3 weeks for my next fill, and appt. with Nutritionist.
Something I need to start doing is journaling my food. Really. I notice that some of you successful bandsters- Jacqui comes to mind, specifically, journal every bite. It seems to keep one accountable- I need to start doing that. I have aggressive goals, and do not want to adjust them yet. I would rather re-evaluate at the 3 month mark.
Back to work :)
Something I need to start doing is journaling my food. Really. I notice that some of you successful bandsters- Jacqui comes to mind, specifically, journal every bite. It seems to keep one accountable- I need to start doing that. I have aggressive goals, and do not want to adjust them yet. I would rather re-evaluate at the 3 month mark.
Back to work :)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Fill Tomorrow!
So, tomorrow is the big day- hallelujah! I can't wait to get my fill and get this party started!
Today was a great day- we stayed home, cleaned up, and finally decorated for Halloween. I am excited. It's our first year in this new house, and sometimes the enormity of things gets to me. Having a two year old, and toys everywhere does not do much for a neat house, but today we laid down the law. Anything on the floor gets thrown out! I am sure we won't throw things out, really, but needed a deterrent. Morgan was so cute helping clean up, she even helped clean the big bay window, and dusted. Very cute. My husband was, as always, the team anchor. He comes from a long line of neat freaks.
The band has been, basically, hanging out in the background. I ate Chinese food, which was horrible. I was so full, and bloated for hours afterward. I didn't think I overdid it, but am looking forward to my friend giving me some assistance.
Thank you to my new followers! It's very inspiring to see that people are reading, and following. Thanks!
Question for you- does anyone have trouble reading certain blogs? Some blogs I cannot read- my browser comes up with an error. It seems to be with people who have blogspot in their blog title. I think some of my followers are those with blogs I can't read- can anyone shed some light on this?
Oh well, pleasant dreams lovelies- back to my facebook game obsession.
oxoxo
A
Today was a great day- we stayed home, cleaned up, and finally decorated for Halloween. I am excited. It's our first year in this new house, and sometimes the enormity of things gets to me. Having a two year old, and toys everywhere does not do much for a neat house, but today we laid down the law. Anything on the floor gets thrown out! I am sure we won't throw things out, really, but needed a deterrent. Morgan was so cute helping clean up, she even helped clean the big bay window, and dusted. Very cute. My husband was, as always, the team anchor. He comes from a long line of neat freaks.
The band has been, basically, hanging out in the background. I ate Chinese food, which was horrible. I was so full, and bloated for hours afterward. I didn't think I overdid it, but am looking forward to my friend giving me some assistance.
Thank you to my new followers! It's very inspiring to see that people are reading, and following. Thanks!
Question for you- does anyone have trouble reading certain blogs? Some blogs I cannot read- my browser comes up with an error. It seems to be with people who have blogspot in their blog title. I think some of my followers are those with blogs I can't read- can anyone shed some light on this?
Oh well, pleasant dreams lovelies- back to my facebook game obsession.
oxoxo
A
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Saturday
Today was a beautiful day in New Jersey. My husband has a stomach bug, so I decided to take Morgan to Dorbrook Park- beautiful park in Colts Neck, with a great play ground. She had a great time. Two things of note- I was surrounded by glamour moms- you know the type- Gucci diaper bags, the ultimate strollers, and Moms who look like they hit the salon before they went to the playground.
Needless to say, I didn't feel like one of them, but I did feel pretty good. I ran around after Morgan, didn't yell too much, and all in all felt like even if I didn't fit in exactly with the glamour moms, that I did feel somewhat cool. The weird thing here is that people don their designer duds to do ordinary chores- since I moved to NJ from NYC, I am much more aware of how my outfit and hair looks, and how my daughter looks, before going to the supermarket, dry cleaner, farmers market, etc. Very weird. In one way, though, it does give me more and more motivation to stick to the program, which is not easy since I am in bandster hell!
Tonight I was supposed to go to a friend's for a jewelery party- ??- but my daughter was acting up, didn't want to go to sleep, and my hubby was under the weather. I was seething inside, and feel so guilty for being angry at the two of them. I never get out, and I am sorry if I am whining, but I was looking forward to some me time. I decided to bail, and now that everyone is settled in for the night, I can't relax, feeling like I am a bad mommy.
I am sure there are some of you out there who have felt similarly, which is the reason for the non-band related post.
On a positive note, my pants were falling off me all day! I love when I can pull them down without opening them to use the bathroom! Sorry to be so graphic, but I guess it's all part of it. I feel like I need some snazzier casual clothes, but I am very reluctant to buy anything.
Oh well, another shot at redemption tomorrow.
xoxo
A
Needless to say, I didn't feel like one of them, but I did feel pretty good. I ran around after Morgan, didn't yell too much, and all in all felt like even if I didn't fit in exactly with the glamour moms, that I did feel somewhat cool. The weird thing here is that people don their designer duds to do ordinary chores- since I moved to NJ from NYC, I am much more aware of how my outfit and hair looks, and how my daughter looks, before going to the supermarket, dry cleaner, farmers market, etc. Very weird. In one way, though, it does give me more and more motivation to stick to the program, which is not easy since I am in bandster hell!
Tonight I was supposed to go to a friend's for a jewelery party- ??- but my daughter was acting up, didn't want to go to sleep, and my hubby was under the weather. I was seething inside, and feel so guilty for being angry at the two of them. I never get out, and I am sorry if I am whining, but I was looking forward to some me time. I decided to bail, and now that everyone is settled in for the night, I can't relax, feeling like I am a bad mommy.
I am sure there are some of you out there who have felt similarly, which is the reason for the non-band related post.
On a positive note, my pants were falling off me all day! I love when I can pull them down without opening them to use the bathroom! Sorry to be so graphic, but I guess it's all part of it. I feel like I need some snazzier casual clothes, but I am very reluctant to buy anything.
Oh well, another shot at redemption tomorrow.
xoxo
A
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Fill on Monday
Hello There Lovelies!
So, I have not been weighing myself compulsively since I had my check up last week. I felt pretty good about my progress so far, and have been bracing myself for the weight stabilization or gain that everyone, including the nurse in the office, fellow bloggers, etc. have told me to expect. I think that bandster Hell is difficult, very difficult. I have not been a perfect doobie now that I have no restriction. I must have more than "no restriction" though since I think I had my first stuck episode when I brainlessly tried to scarf down a hotdog at the "Fall Festival" this past weekend. My best friend and husband kinda looked at me funny when I ordered a hot dog, but when they saw the look on my face, my bestie shouted "She's stuck! That's the same face blankiedie blank makes when she eats too fast!" Duh. Not cool. My husband looked stricken. I tried, nonchalantly, to spit out the offending piece of bread into a napkin, and tried to drink a sip of water to was whatever was there down! So much for my first day of "real food". I have a lot to learn- obviously!
I am trying though. I feel like I am on a diet, sort of, but I seem to have more will power than usual.
The good news- I weighed myself today- down two more pounds! Yay!! I have a long way to go, but I am thrilled the scale is moving in the right direction!! I have a goal of 299 by Halloween- not sure if it is realistic, but I am getting a fill on Monday, so theoretically.... The real reason for the aggressive goal is to STAY AWAY FROM HALLOWEEN CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, quick question: do you attend the "support groups"? Are they valuable? I may attend one to see- it's kind of a pain to attend since I live in NJ, work in Bklyn, and had my surgery at NYU, have a two year old that needs to be picked up, but if it's worth it, I will make arrangements.
This week in blog land has been educational, and very emotional. Sad stories of people's childhoods, tragedies happening to everyday people, and even mundane stories of the perils of pooping. All good stuff. All stuff that ties us together- veterans and newbies. Good stuff people.
xoxo
A
So, I have not been weighing myself compulsively since I had my check up last week. I felt pretty good about my progress so far, and have been bracing myself for the weight stabilization or gain that everyone, including the nurse in the office, fellow bloggers, etc. have told me to expect. I think that bandster Hell is difficult, very difficult. I have not been a perfect doobie now that I have no restriction. I must have more than "no restriction" though since I think I had my first stuck episode when I brainlessly tried to scarf down a hotdog at the "Fall Festival" this past weekend. My best friend and husband kinda looked at me funny when I ordered a hot dog, but when they saw the look on my face, my bestie shouted "She's stuck! That's the same face blankiedie blank makes when she eats too fast!" Duh. Not cool. My husband looked stricken. I tried, nonchalantly, to spit out the offending piece of bread into a napkin, and tried to drink a sip of water to was whatever was there down! So much for my first day of "real food". I have a lot to learn- obviously!
I am trying though. I feel like I am on a diet, sort of, but I seem to have more will power than usual.
The good news- I weighed myself today- down two more pounds! Yay!! I have a long way to go, but I am thrilled the scale is moving in the right direction!! I have a goal of 299 by Halloween- not sure if it is realistic, but I am getting a fill on Monday, so theoretically.... The real reason for the aggressive goal is to STAY AWAY FROM HALLOWEEN CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, quick question: do you attend the "support groups"? Are they valuable? I may attend one to see- it's kind of a pain to attend since I live in NJ, work in Bklyn, and had my surgery at NYU, have a two year old that needs to be picked up, but if it's worth it, I will make arrangements.
This week in blog land has been educational, and very emotional. Sad stories of people's childhoods, tragedies happening to everyday people, and even mundane stories of the perils of pooping. All good stuff. All stuff that ties us together- veterans and newbies. Good stuff people.
xoxo
A
Friday, October 15, 2010
Post-Op Checkup, Childhood Obesity, How to Be a Good Mom
Okay, so let's get the business out of the way first. Had post op check, compelte with barium swallow and esophogram. In a word- yuck. That stuff is horrid. The good news... down 18 from August, and 30 from pre-op liquid diet! Yay! My band is in place, I have no restriction, and I can eat normal food tomorrow. In a way, I am scared to. I don't want to over-do it. I have been able to let my eyes skim over the Milky Way Caramel bars, avoid the ice cream aisle, and not look at the Entemann's Black and White Cookies (don't even try them- they are evil). Despite the toast slip, I have been very, very good. Normal day is coffee, protien shake (slim fast protien- super yummy blended with milk, ice, and 2 tbsp of hot coffee!!), yogurt as a snack, soup, for lunch, a cup of tea and a diet pudding for snack, and scrambled eggs, tuna, or chicken salad for dinner. Usually follow up with a cup of tea for night time blog reading, and facebook game playing.
I have an aggressive goal for 10/31- to be below 300. That would be so awesome. If it's not 10/31, I am sure I will hit it in November, but I can't wait to be below the 300 mark. I was so in denial over my weight. I I am big all around- 5'11, size 12 W feet (hopefully they will shrink!!!!).
So, obese children have been a topic of blogs in the fast few days, and I have to say it has been very emotional for me as well. I was a big kid, not really obese until after college, but definately overweight for the years between 12-22. I am not going to get into me, because I have a more pressing situation in that my two year old is obese. Yes. I said it. Like me, she is big- 10 pounds at birth, and off the charts for height and weight. She at her most recent pediatrician crossed from overweight to obese, and now it's time for blood tests to check for diabetes, nutritionist appointments, and possibly endocrinologists. She is 39 inches and 41lbs. She is not that big in my mind, she is a little chubby. She has chubby cheeks and legs. She is like a little cherub (or probably a medium sized one).
I breast fed her, never gave her sugar, transitioned to low fat milk when she turned one, give her fruit and veggies, whole grain cereal (cheerios, or high fiber cereal). She loves to eat. She always asks for more. I sometimes hold back on her original portion, especially, if it's pasta- usually Dreamfields, which is low carb, to have some to give her when she asks- I do this to help control the amount she eats, but not give her any negative messages. She loves to eat. She also loves to run, dance, and play hopscotch. She has never been to McDonalds. She doesn't eat fast food- ever. She had her first french fry over the summer, spit it out, and said it tastes "yucky". I steam the veggies I give her. She only eats white meat chicken. I buy our veggies from the farmers market, and lean toward organic when I can. She loves low fat yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, brocolli, apples, milk, chicken, mac and cheese (I measure out a half cup of Annie's organic). I feel like I am doing a good job. She is still overweight. (Her height outpaced her weight since her checkup and is now overweight, not obese). She drinks Water, NOT JUICE!!!
Will she grow out of it? What should I be doing differently? I think portion control, is probably something I should look at- she always finishes what's on her plate, if I give her less, she will eat less, right? I am going to sign her up for soccer when she is old enough. I am now banded, and hoping to be the right example for her. My husband is slightly overweight, but loses the excess weight over the weekend when he tries. My step son was chubby, is now 13 and skinny, but his struggle was with how he was brought up eating- chicken nuggets, fries, cheese and mayo sandwiches, and ravioli were the only foods he ate, oh , and icecream!
Speaking of ice cream, the psychologist, during my pre-surgery appt, commented on my daughter being chubby- she came with me to the appt.- and asked about it in a nice way. I told her what I reiterated above, that I feed her very healthy foods. She asked me what about what I eat. Well, at the time, I was polishing off a pint of ice cream a night, 5 nights or so a week. I mentioned that I never let her see me eat like that- but the psych said that she sees you buying it, doesn't she? Well, yeah, she comes with me food shopping, so yes, she does (but, she's two).
What's the point? Well, I am not sure, but now it's off my chest. I want my beautiful daughter happy, healthy, and well adjusted. I don't want her to have a bad body image, and I don't want her to ever suffer because of her weight- physically or emotionally. This journey is for me, but it's also for her...my beauty girl, my love, my Morgan.
xoxox
A
I have an aggressive goal for 10/31- to be below 300. That would be so awesome. If it's not 10/31, I am sure I will hit it in November, but I can't wait to be below the 300 mark. I was so in denial over my weight. I I am big all around- 5'11, size 12 W feet (hopefully they will shrink!!!!).
So, obese children have been a topic of blogs in the fast few days, and I have to say it has been very emotional for me as well. I was a big kid, not really obese until after college, but definately overweight for the years between 12-22. I am not going to get into me, because I have a more pressing situation in that my two year old is obese. Yes. I said it. Like me, she is big- 10 pounds at birth, and off the charts for height and weight. She at her most recent pediatrician crossed from overweight to obese, and now it's time for blood tests to check for diabetes, nutritionist appointments, and possibly endocrinologists. She is 39 inches and 41lbs. She is not that big in my mind, she is a little chubby. She has chubby cheeks and legs. She is like a little cherub (or probably a medium sized one).
I breast fed her, never gave her sugar, transitioned to low fat milk when she turned one, give her fruit and veggies, whole grain cereal (cheerios, or high fiber cereal). She loves to eat. She always asks for more. I sometimes hold back on her original portion, especially, if it's pasta- usually Dreamfields, which is low carb, to have some to give her when she asks- I do this to help control the amount she eats, but not give her any negative messages. She loves to eat. She also loves to run, dance, and play hopscotch. She has never been to McDonalds. She doesn't eat fast food- ever. She had her first french fry over the summer, spit it out, and said it tastes "yucky". I steam the veggies I give her. She only eats white meat chicken. I buy our veggies from the farmers market, and lean toward organic when I can. She loves low fat yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, brocolli, apples, milk, chicken, mac and cheese (I measure out a half cup of Annie's organic). I feel like I am doing a good job. She is still overweight. (Her height outpaced her weight since her checkup and is now overweight, not obese). She drinks Water, NOT JUICE!!!
Will she grow out of it? What should I be doing differently? I think portion control, is probably something I should look at- she always finishes what's on her plate, if I give her less, she will eat less, right? I am going to sign her up for soccer when she is old enough. I am now banded, and hoping to be the right example for her. My husband is slightly overweight, but loses the excess weight over the weekend when he tries. My step son was chubby, is now 13 and skinny, but his struggle was with how he was brought up eating- chicken nuggets, fries, cheese and mayo sandwiches, and ravioli were the only foods he ate, oh , and icecream!
Speaking of ice cream, the psychologist, during my pre-surgery appt, commented on my daughter being chubby- she came with me to the appt.- and asked about it in a nice way. I told her what I reiterated above, that I feed her very healthy foods. She asked me what about what I eat. Well, at the time, I was polishing off a pint of ice cream a night, 5 nights or so a week. I mentioned that I never let her see me eat like that- but the psych said that she sees you buying it, doesn't she? Well, yeah, she comes with me food shopping, so yes, she does (but, she's two).
xoxox
A
Monday, October 11, 2010
Mushies and Hunger
So, I know I am not in bandster hell yet, but I am definately not feeling any restriction ten days post op. The hunger comes on, and now that I can eat mushies, I find myself eating too fast, and too much. I have been sticking to protien shakes in the morning, and honestly, I think I preferred the liquid phase- it was easier to be good. Today I had a protien shake, tea, a piece of toast, a spinach and feta egg white omelete, cole slaw, iced tea, and two cups of hot tea, and two spoonfuls of yogurt. The toast was a mistake- I had it in my mouth before I could think straight! (I was making toast for my daughter's breakfast, and slipped a couple of small pieces in my mouth- 2/8ths of a slice. I chewed it well, but regret it later. I had no consequences from it, other than being very full.. Not good.
The scale is not moving since I went to mushies either. Need to keep track of the food and calories better- another reminder that the band is a tool, not a substitute for being accountable for what I put in my pie hole.
xoxoxo
A
The scale is not moving since I went to mushies either. Need to keep track of the food and calories better- another reminder that the band is a tool, not a substitute for being accountable for what I put in my pie hole.
xoxoxo
A
Friday, October 8, 2010
Overly Sensitive??
Unrelatd to band news, I had a crappy day. It started out okay- I wore a wrap dress that I have not been comfortable in for a while, along with my knee high black boots- thought I was looking rather voluptuous, in a good way- my hubby gave me the nod before I left home.
I dropped my daughter off at my mom's and the first thing Mom said was- in an Irish brogue- Ack, that dress is a mile too short on you. I can see your underwear! Well, let's clarify....I had on my girdle over my tights and the bottom was showing- a car related mishap, easily corrected. Let's just say that it did nothing for my confidence!
After leaving, I drove past Fashion Bug, in the event they open early, (they don't) to try to but ANOTHER OUTFIT! Feeling fat, and hopeless, I made the trek to work and hid under my 3X fat sweater all day, trying not to leave the office unless absolutely necessary.
I got out of the funk by the end of the day, because my mother is nothing if not brutally honest, and I know if I called her on it, she would be hurt and angry. She does so much for me by watching my daughter, so I let it go.
Hopefully the next time I wear the dress I will have more confidence, but let's just say that it's going to the back of the closet for now.
In a band related note, I am now down 30 from my all time high!! I think I will focus on that for the rest of the evening.
xoxox
A
I dropped my daughter off at my mom's and the first thing Mom said was- in an Irish brogue- Ack, that dress is a mile too short on you. I can see your underwear! Well, let's clarify....I had on my girdle over my tights and the bottom was showing- a car related mishap, easily corrected. Let's just say that it did nothing for my confidence!
After leaving, I drove past Fashion Bug, in the event they open early, (they don't) to try to but ANOTHER OUTFIT! Feeling fat, and hopeless, I made the trek to work and hid under my 3X fat sweater all day, trying not to leave the office unless absolutely necessary.
I got out of the funk by the end of the day, because my mother is nothing if not brutally honest, and I know if I called her on it, she would be hurt and angry. She does so much for me by watching my daughter, so I let it go.
Hopefully the next time I wear the dress I will have more confidence, but let's just say that it's going to the back of the closet for now.
In a band related note, I am now down 30 from my all time high!! I think I will focus on that for the rest of the evening.
xoxox
A
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Intense Gas Pain!
I have intense pain under my left boob, top of my stomach. Gas pain? I hope so- wow, this sucks. I am in agony. I am on here looking for other people that may have had the same symptoms- anyone?
I called the on call doctor, if the pain gets worse, I am to go to the NYU ER. My husband is so great, running around getting the phone, the numbers, the gas-x, making me tea. My daughter (2 years old) wants dinner.
It's passing a little now.
Prayers!
xoxo
A
I called the on call doctor, if the pain gets worse, I am to go to the NYU ER. My husband is so great, running around getting the phone, the numbers, the gas-x, making me tea. My daughter (2 years old) wants dinner.
It's passing a little now.
Prayers!
xoxo
A
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Feeling Like My Old Self Again, but THINNER!!
So, first, a disclaimer: I gained twelve pounds between my first surgical consult and my start of the pre-surgery liquid diet.
The best news ever is that I am TWENTY SIX POUNDS LIGHTER than when I started liquids!!!!! I can't believe it. Part of me is not taking it in because the original number was too hideous to print, but now I am nineteen pounds from being under 300! YAY!
I go to mushies on Sunday, so I am hoping I lose five or so more pounds between now and then. Being over 300 lbs is a reality I have been dealing with for a couple of years, and mostly not dealing with, by not weighing myself. Now, I feel like I can say goodbye to the 300s sooner rather than later, and that feels great.
I did experience intense hunger pains today, I think. It may have been gas, but it felt really bad. I was out, so I ordered some vegetable soup and drank the broth. Felt much better afterward.
Just a quick update for now, back to work tomorrow. Wish me luck!
xoxo
A
The best news ever is that I am TWENTY SIX POUNDS LIGHTER than when I started liquids!!!!! I can't believe it. Part of me is not taking it in because the original number was too hideous to print, but now I am nineteen pounds from being under 300! YAY!
I go to mushies on Sunday, so I am hoping I lose five or so more pounds between now and then. Being over 300 lbs is a reality I have been dealing with for a couple of years, and mostly not dealing with, by not weighing myself. Now, I feel like I can say goodbye to the 300s sooner rather than later, and that feels great.
I did experience intense hunger pains today, I think. It may have been gas, but it felt really bad. I was out, so I ordered some vegetable soup and drank the broth. Felt much better afterward.
Just a quick update for now, back to work tomorrow. Wish me luck!
xoxo
A
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Feeling Like the Fog is Lifting
I feel like I am coming out of a fog- it's weird. It's not comfortable either. I am facing the realization that I am SO FAT. Like Amy W., I think I have body dysmorphia- I was in denial big time. I am now facing the consequences.
I know I have made a brave choice, and am finally doing something about my weight. I just can't believe I let it get this bad! I am seriously fat. Seriously! I can't imagine the wreck my body will be once I lose all of this padding- I am going to be a stretched out, scarred mess. It's very sad. I hope it's not too late to be beautiful. I am not getting any younger. I hope all of my potentially prettiest days are behind me. I hope I can salvage things through spanx and maybe a tummy tuck some day.
This is a whiny post! Suck it up Fluffy!!
Okay. I am better now.
I am happy I got banded. I am a little scared of what's to come- but I will take it one day at a time. I am relatively young, maybe my skin will snap back, or at least some of it will. Lifting weights will help, getting moving on the treadmill will too.
Love you guys.
xoxoxox
A
I know I have made a brave choice, and am finally doing something about my weight. I just can't believe I let it get this bad! I am seriously fat. Seriously! I can't imagine the wreck my body will be once I lose all of this padding- I am going to be a stretched out, scarred mess. It's very sad. I hope it's not too late to be beautiful. I am not getting any younger. I hope all of my potentially prettiest days are behind me. I hope I can salvage things through spanx and maybe a tummy tuck some day.
This is a whiny post! Suck it up Fluffy!!
Okay. I am better now.
I am happy I got banded. I am a little scared of what's to come- but I will take it one day at a time. I am relatively young, maybe my skin will snap back, or at least some of it will. Lifting weights will help, getting moving on the treadmill will too.
Love you guys.
xoxoxox
A
Monday, October 4, 2010
Day 3
So, I guess the three things I am concered about are:
1- pressure in my chest- it is horrible. I think it's gas, but I don't seem to be getting any relief. The nurse in the recovery room did tell me it would feel like I am having a heart attack- which, I guess is what this feels like, but it's been going on for three days!
2- Very tight? I think this is what it feels like? I take a sip of tea and I feel like I ate three turkeys
3- Blinding headache
So far I have been having broth, tea, propel, ice pops, and V8- very small quantities. I could care less about eating, I just have this dry and sore throat thing happening, and I wish I could guzzle ice cold water. Sip, sip, sip. I can't believe how long it takes to drink a bottle of propel (all day)!
Sorry to complain, I am excited, but a little out of it.
xoxo
1- pressure in my chest- it is horrible. I think it's gas, but I don't seem to be getting any relief. The nurse in the recovery room did tell me it would feel like I am having a heart attack- which, I guess is what this feels like, but it's been going on for three days!
2- Very tight? I think this is what it feels like? I take a sip of tea and I feel like I ate three turkeys
3- Blinding headache
So far I have been having broth, tea, propel, ice pops, and V8- very small quantities. I could care less about eating, I just have this dry and sore throat thing happening, and I wish I could guzzle ice cold water. Sip, sip, sip. I can't believe how long it takes to drink a bottle of propel (all day)!
Sorry to complain, I am excited, but a little out of it.
xoxo
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Feeling Pretty Good!
Hi there,
Quick post to say thanks for all of the comments and encouragement!
I feel pretty good- some soreness, but the loritab seems to help. I have been sipping my propel, and tea, and now am about to enjoy some broth! I don't even feel hungry at all, and seem to have more energy- all good stuff.
For those of you in the NYC area, and contemplating a band, I highly recommend NYU and Drs. Ren, Fielding, and Kurian. Why not go to the best?
Time to watch Project Runway on DVR- I love just being able to chill, while my hubby does all the work! Thanks Kris!
xoxoox
Quick post to say thanks for all of the comments and encouragement!
I feel pretty good- some soreness, but the loritab seems to help. I have been sipping my propel, and tea, and now am about to enjoy some broth! I don't even feel hungry at all, and seem to have more energy- all good stuff.
For those of you in the NYC area, and contemplating a band, I highly recommend NYU and Drs. Ren, Fielding, and Kurian. Why not go to the best?
Time to watch Project Runway on DVR- I love just being able to chill, while my hubby does all the work! Thanks Kris!
xoxoox
Feeling Pretty Good!
Hi there,
Quick post to say thanks for all of the comments and encouragement!
I feel pretty good- some soreness, but the loritab seems to help. I have been sipping my propel, and tea, and now am about to enjoy some broth! I don't even feel hungry at all, and seem to have more energy- all good stuff.
For those of you in the NYC area, and contemplating a band, I highly recommend NYU and Drs. Ren, Fielding, and Kurian. Why not go to the best?
Time to watch Project Runway on DVR- I love just being able to chill, while my hubby does all the work! Thanks Kris!
xoxoox
Quick post to say thanks for all of the comments and encouragement!
I feel pretty good- some soreness, but the loritab seems to help. I have been sipping my propel, and tea, and now am about to enjoy some broth! I don't even feel hungry at all, and seem to have more energy- all good stuff.
For those of you in the NYC area, and contemplating a band, I highly recommend NYU and Drs. Ren, Fielding, and Kurian. Why not go to the best?
Time to watch Project Runway on DVR- I love just being able to chill, while my hubby does all the work! Thanks Kris!
xoxoox
Friday, October 1, 2010
Done!
I got it! Dr. Ren says I did great- I have the small band and only 2 incisions- one in my belly button and my port is just under my bra line! Bikinis, here I come!! ;)
I am hoping to go home soon, in the meanwhile I am enjoying my broth and have a lot of walking. Next stop- pee pee!
More later, and thanks for all of your support and comments!
Xoxoxoxoxx
Annie
I am hoping to go home soon, in the meanwhile I am enjoying my broth and have a lot of walking. Next stop- pee pee!
More later, and thanks for all of your support and comments!
Xoxoxoxoxx
Annie
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Count Down and Confession
This time tomorrow I will be banded! I am excited and scared at the same time. There are some nagging concerns in the back of my mind, however, that I need to share. Thank you, all 19 of you, for listening!!
Here goes...I hope my liver is shrunken enough for everything to be safe- there were times I "cheated" on my 2 week liquid diet. I need to share my cheat with you all, and hopefully someone will tell me that I am not alone, and that it's not that big a deal, and not to worry!! :0
So, last week when my thyroid was out of whack, and I thought I was not going to get cleared, and that my surgery was going to be postponed indefinately (until after I got the levels managed through the help of an endocrinologist- a three month process), and that the need for a liquid diet was gone, we ordered in from our favorite Italian place and I ate 75% of an order of penne alla vodka, and a piece of bread with butter. It was delicious! I resumed liquids, after feeling guilty and that I was a quitter. I got back on the program, but did have a little extra salad here and there, a couple (okay 4) pureed soups along the way, along with a bite of turkey meatloaf once, and a small piece (2 inches, maybe) of chicken cutlet in the course of the two weeks. Part of me is rationalizing that it is okay, and I shouldn't worry. After all, some of you (lucky) people have not even had to do a two week liquid diet pre- banding. Can someone give me a re-assurance??
I have lost about 16lbs or so in the past two weeks- keep in mind, I had gained some weight since my surgical consult on 8/4, so it's not 16lbs since then, but I feel thinner, my clothes definately feel better, and I am squeezing into things I haven't worn in a year, or more. All from 17lbs? Weird. I think part of it is where I am losing from- feels like my midsection (which is freakin' awesmome) is getting smaller.
Tomorrow is the big day! Pray for me! I hope to post again when I have emerged from the other side, and truly have joined your ranks.
xoxo
A
Here goes...I hope my liver is shrunken enough for everything to be safe- there were times I "cheated" on my 2 week liquid diet. I need to share my cheat with you all, and hopefully someone will tell me that I am not alone, and that it's not that big a deal, and not to worry!! :0
So, last week when my thyroid was out of whack, and I thought I was not going to get cleared, and that my surgery was going to be postponed indefinately (until after I got the levels managed through the help of an endocrinologist- a three month process), and that the need for a liquid diet was gone, we ordered in from our favorite Italian place and I ate 75% of an order of penne alla vodka, and a piece of bread with butter. It was delicious! I resumed liquids, after feeling guilty and that I was a quitter. I got back on the program, but did have a little extra salad here and there, a couple (okay 4) pureed soups along the way, along with a bite of turkey meatloaf once, and a small piece (2 inches, maybe) of chicken cutlet in the course of the two weeks. Part of me is rationalizing that it is okay, and I shouldn't worry. After all, some of you (lucky) people have not even had to do a two week liquid diet pre- banding. Can someone give me a re-assurance??
I have lost about 16lbs or so in the past two weeks- keep in mind, I had gained some weight since my surgical consult on 8/4, so it's not 16lbs since then, but I feel thinner, my clothes definately feel better, and I am squeezing into things I haven't worn in a year, or more. All from 17lbs? Weird. I think part of it is where I am losing from- feels like my midsection (which is freakin' awesmome) is getting smaller.
Tomorrow is the big day! Pray for me! I hope to post again when I have emerged from the other side, and truly have joined your ranks.
xoxo
A
Friday, September 24, 2010
Near Miss!
So the other day I went to my primary doctor to get the medical clearance form signed for my upcoming surgery on 10-1. The PA then told me they wouldn't be able to clear me for surgery due to the fact that my tsh level (thyroid effectiveness) was out of whack. I knew it could be problem, but my medication level had just been increased, and I was hoping for a miracle. The PA told me that not only did she not think a lap band was the right move now, but that I needed to be followed by an endocrinologist, and in my area, the wait is usually three months!!!!
I burst into tears, because, really, this band is what I have been pinning all of my hopes and dreams on. I have been on a liquid diet for a week- already lost ten or so pounds, and was planning for my next summer's wardrobe already! Not really... I was/am looking forward to being healthier, slimmer, more attractive, etc. and I am/ have been so discouraged by diets in the past, due to the slowness of them, and the lack of willpower I seem to possess. She proceeded to tell me that with a slow thyroid, my chances of success with a band were limited, and the risks of anesthesia were significant.
I then remembered that she had increased my dosage of synthroid after I had my last blood test, and reminded her of that fact. She agreed to let me get a new blood test, and though she was skeptical- I would have to be in the normal range, .5-5.0 to be cleared- my levels were at 94. Long story short... the bloods were normal! I am still on track for my surgery next Friday! Yay!!! I have my pre-surgical testing on Tuesday- expecting good results, and with that, I will be all set. What a relief!!
I haven't posted in a few days due to the discouragement that I felt, but I thought I would let you all know of my wonderful news, and that soon I will be among your ranks. Looking forward to joining you at BOOBS 2!
oxoxoxoxo
Annie
I burst into tears, because, really, this band is what I have been pinning all of my hopes and dreams on. I have been on a liquid diet for a week- already lost ten or so pounds, and was planning for my next summer's wardrobe already! Not really... I was/am looking forward to being healthier, slimmer, more attractive, etc. and I am/ have been so discouraged by diets in the past, due to the slowness of them, and the lack of willpower I seem to possess. She proceeded to tell me that with a slow thyroid, my chances of success with a band were limited, and the risks of anesthesia were significant.
I then remembered that she had increased my dosage of synthroid after I had my last blood test, and reminded her of that fact. She agreed to let me get a new blood test, and though she was skeptical- I would have to be in the normal range, .5-5.0 to be cleared- my levels were at 94. Long story short... the bloods were normal! I am still on track for my surgery next Friday! Yay!!! I have my pre-surgical testing on Tuesday- expecting good results, and with that, I will be all set. What a relief!!
I haven't posted in a few days due to the discouragement that I felt, but I thought I would let you all know of my wonderful news, and that soon I will be among your ranks. Looking forward to joining you at BOOBS 2!
oxoxoxoxo
Annie
Monday, September 20, 2010
Two-Fer: Hungry and Hostile!
I eat more at work than I do at home. I have already had three protein shakes, two jellos, some veggies, coffee, and a yogurt. I answered my own question re: yogurt. It's okay, if only once per day as a shake substitute. I am starving. I think it might be stress related. Like everytime I want to kill someone here, I shove something in my mouth. I guess that's one way to shut me up. Interesting insight- shove food in the mouth to shove down anger, frustration, unhappiness, uncomfortableness, loneliness, fear, rage... it goes on and on.
I have been reading blogs today, and the topic of addiction is a big one. Addiction. Hmm...I don't know that I would classify myself as a food addict, per se, more of a sugar addict. I never used to, but in recent months (since my husband lost his job, since we bought our house, since I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders???)
My old way of eating of late, since I have been shoving down my fear and hostility (powerful revelation whilst blogging and half listening to a conference call!) I would have 1-2 cups of coffee with 3 sugars, and a hefty slug of half and half. On the way to work, I would probably have two or three salty and sweet granola bars, which I would eat in the car. Lunch would be pizza, cheese steak, chinese, Greek, whatever anyone was ordering. Occasionally once the sugar crave hit, I would have a cookie from Dunkin Donuts, or a candy bar from the vending machine. In the evening dinner would be relatively normal- I feed my toddler very healthy food- steamed veggies, whole wheat/low carb pasta, fruit, yogurt, eggs, salad, lean meat- no junk. After I put her to bed, I would have a drink- usually rum and pepsi, on our deck while playing on my laptop- facebook, blogging, etc. After my "Mommy time" I come inside, and 4 out of 7 days a week would have ice cream. Almost always Ben & Jerry full fat, usually 3/4 or so of the container. Off to bed at 12-1am. Wow! Writing that down is hard. I see and feel like I am coming out of a fog, a sugar induced haze, a drug stupor.
The good news is that I am down ten pounds! It can't be real! I had actually gained weight since my appt. on 8/4, so now I am only one pound away from where I was at my visit. I think I had one too many "farewell to food" meals.
Not much to say, but wanted to say something. If only for personal historical reference.
Ciao!
A
I have been reading blogs today, and the topic of addiction is a big one. Addiction. Hmm...I don't know that I would classify myself as a food addict, per se, more of a sugar addict. I never used to, but in recent months (since my husband lost his job, since we bought our house, since I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders???)
My old way of eating of late, since I have been shoving down my fear and hostility (powerful revelation whilst blogging and half listening to a conference call!) I would have 1-2 cups of coffee with 3 sugars, and a hefty slug of half and half. On the way to work, I would probably have two or three salty and sweet granola bars, which I would eat in the car. Lunch would be pizza, cheese steak, chinese, Greek, whatever anyone was ordering. Occasionally once the sugar crave hit, I would have a cookie from Dunkin Donuts, or a candy bar from the vending machine. In the evening dinner would be relatively normal- I feed my toddler very healthy food- steamed veggies, whole wheat/low carb pasta, fruit, yogurt, eggs, salad, lean meat- no junk. After I put her to bed, I would have a drink- usually rum and pepsi, on our deck while playing on my laptop- facebook, blogging, etc. After my "Mommy time" I come inside, and 4 out of 7 days a week would have ice cream. Almost always Ben & Jerry full fat, usually 3/4 or so of the container. Off to bed at 12-1am. Wow! Writing that down is hard. I see and feel like I am coming out of a fog, a sugar induced haze, a drug stupor.
The good news is that I am down ten pounds! It can't be real! I had actually gained weight since my appt. on 8/4, so now I am only one pound away from where I was at my visit. I think I had one too many "farewell to food" meals.
Not much to say, but wanted to say something. If only for personal historical reference.
Ciao!
A
Lucky 13!
Hello Thirteen Followers!
First, thank you for your support! I realize you are more important to me than I am to you, but that's okay. Thirteen is a good number. It's an awkward number. It's a number representing the begining and the end of things- puberty, adolescence, childhood. I didn't do thirteen well. I retreated. I was afraid to grow up- afraid to acknowledge myself as a budding woman. If I am honest, I think that's when I began to hide myself in food. Often I have reflected on my fat as my protector, my barrier. When I was a kid, I hated attention. I didn't like being looked at.
When I was thirteen I had a paper route. One of my customers worked for a modeling agency. She told me that I should have my Mom call her and set up some time for a meeting. She did say that I needed to lose about thirty pounds or so, but that I had potential. (I am 5'11- probably 5'8 or so at the time and I know I was 157lbs). I promptly gained thirty pounds! When I think back, I just wanted to HIDE! I hated that she said I was fat; I hated that I had "potential"- like we have all heard a thousand times, "you have such a pretty face- if you only lost weight, you would be so beautiful". I didn't do it consciously, I just knew. Just like I knew when I wore my drawstring shorts and tube top- with a bit of pudge here and there that people were looking, and snickering. I just wanted to be the best first baseman, the most powerful hitter on my softball team, the pretty girl, the smart girl, the fast bike rider, the independant girl. I wanted to wear drawstring shorts, listen to Z100, and wear feather earrings! I was thirteen!
I stopped them from looking, didn't I? I became invisible. The person that no one really saw. I was in the 200's in high school, the 220's in college, 280 when I got married, 313 when I had my baby, and now, 333. What's different? I have a life now. I did everything in spite of the fact that I was fat. I forced people to like me by being smart and charming, and even at 220, I was kind of hot. Not skinny girl hot, but very cute guy thinks I am hot when he's drunk kind of hot. I met a great guy, got married, have a great career, a beautiful daughter- what's there to hide from now???
A
First, thank you for your support! I realize you are more important to me than I am to you, but that's okay. Thirteen is a good number. It's an awkward number. It's a number representing the begining and the end of things- puberty, adolescence, childhood. I didn't do thirteen well. I retreated. I was afraid to grow up- afraid to acknowledge myself as a budding woman. If I am honest, I think that's when I began to hide myself in food. Often I have reflected on my fat as my protector, my barrier. When I was a kid, I hated attention. I didn't like being looked at.
When I was thirteen I had a paper route. One of my customers worked for a modeling agency. She told me that I should have my Mom call her and set up some time for a meeting. She did say that I needed to lose about thirty pounds or so, but that I had potential. (I am 5'11- probably 5'8 or so at the time and I know I was 157lbs). I promptly gained thirty pounds! When I think back, I just wanted to HIDE! I hated that she said I was fat; I hated that I had "potential"- like we have all heard a thousand times, "you have such a pretty face- if you only lost weight, you would be so beautiful". I didn't do it consciously, I just knew. Just like I knew when I wore my drawstring shorts and tube top- with a bit of pudge here and there that people were looking, and snickering. I just wanted to be the best first baseman, the most powerful hitter on my softball team, the pretty girl, the smart girl, the fast bike rider, the independant girl. I wanted to wear drawstring shorts, listen to Z100, and wear feather earrings! I was thirteen!
I stopped them from looking, didn't I? I became invisible. The person that no one really saw. I was in the 200's in high school, the 220's in college, 280 when I got married, 313 when I had my baby, and now, 333. What's different? I have a life now. I did everything in spite of the fact that I was fat. I forced people to like me by being smart and charming, and even at 220, I was kind of hot. Not skinny girl hot, but very cute guy thinks I am hot when he's drunk kind of hot. I met a great guy, got married, have a great career, a beautiful daughter- what's there to hide from now???
A
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Liquids
So, I started the liquid diet. I must say that although I miss "real food" I am enjoying the feeling of being lighter. Yes, although, I just started, I already feel lighter. Maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me? Nope! I weighed myself, and I am down 5 lbs already! Now, I know it is probably water, but 5 lbs is still great!
Question for those who had to do liquids 2 weeks prior to banding... if the protein shake has 190 calories, and 15 gms of protien, with no fat (I use skim milk), is it okay to have a greek yogurt which has 140 calories, no fat, and also has 15 gms of protien?
I may be deluding myself by asking, and yes, it's only been two days, but man! I do get to have 2 cups of veggies, which I absolutely am thankful for! YUM!!!! I have been having a mixed arugula with steamed broccoli with 2tbsp of the most amazing dressing- fat free, wasabi dijon by Vermont Farms! It is so good.
All in all, I have been having 800-1000 calories per day. I am also having diet jello, which, is also awesome.
Twelve days to go!
Wish me luck!
A
Question for those who had to do liquids 2 weeks prior to banding... if the protein shake has 190 calories, and 15 gms of protien, with no fat (I use skim milk), is it okay to have a greek yogurt which has 140 calories, no fat, and also has 15 gms of protien?
I may be deluding myself by asking, and yes, it's only been two days, but man! I do get to have 2 cups of veggies, which I absolutely am thankful for! YUM!!!! I have been having a mixed arugula with steamed broccoli with 2tbsp of the most amazing dressing- fat free, wasabi dijon by Vermont Farms! It is so good.
All in all, I have been having 800-1000 calories per day. I am also having diet jello, which, is also awesome.
Twelve days to go!
Wish me luck!
A
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I Love You Guys
How is it that I am now addicted to reading blogs all day and all night long? I long to see the udpates on the dashboard. I am checking from each computer I encounter- my BlackBerry, my laptop at night, my PC at work. I am hooked. I am like a voyeur. A stalker?
It's hard not to get excited to see updates, pictures, food logs, weight loss tickers. I love them, and I love all of you. I love your progress. I love the hope you inspire in me. I love how I feel when I see someone who is my height, around my start weight, and lose almost 100 lbs in a year! I love when I learn that that person now takes a size 12! Yay for you! Yay for me! That could/will be me in a year!
I know everyone's experiences are different, and that results reported in blogs are not necessarily typical, and that objects appear closer than they are in mirrors,but seriously, if they (or you) did it, couldn't I? Well, couldn't I?
Three days til liquids.
It's hard not to get excited to see updates, pictures, food logs, weight loss tickers. I love them, and I love all of you. I love your progress. I love the hope you inspire in me. I love how I feel when I see someone who is my height, around my start weight, and lose almost 100 lbs in a year! I love when I learn that that person now takes a size 12! Yay for you! Yay for me! That could/will be me in a year!
I know everyone's experiences are different, and that results reported in blogs are not necessarily typical, and that objects appear closer than they are in mirrors,but seriously, if they (or you) did it, couldn't I? Well, couldn't I?
Three days til liquids.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Closer and Closer
So, I continue to be motivated by fellow bloggers, and continue to slog through the days before my liquid diet. I am not dieting, but trying to stay motivated not to gain weight while saying goodbye to some old faves.
I had my birthday dinner on Saturday night with my hubby. Very nice, excellent food. We did the tasting menu with wine pairing. Very sophisticated, and delicious. It was a great experience- more than eating, but experiencing the food, the tastes, the way they combined with the wine. Very cool. My farewell to food continued yesterday with my birthday cake- chocolate cake with fluff icing. Mom made it. Very nice- made two wishes, one when I blew out the candles, and one when I sliced the cake- wanna guess what they were? My two year old was adorable, it was all "Happy Birthday Mommy!" all weekend, and even today when she woke up. I love her so much. I want to be here for her, to love her, and take care of her, and see her go to school, and spend as much time with her as possible.
For lunch, at work today, I had chicken on a pita, NYC style. It's grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, tzatziki sauce, on a pita. Yum. I feel really full- not busting, but really full. I will never be able to eat that whole thing again without PBing. I feel like puking now, just thinking about it. Thinking about how I probably didn't need to eat the whole thing now, maybe I would have been fine with half, or just the chicken, without the pita? It's more eating from habit than anything else. I am looking forward to new habits- healthy habits!
I will miss Captain Morgan and Pepsi, though.
I had my birthday dinner on Saturday night with my hubby. Very nice, excellent food. We did the tasting menu with wine pairing. Very sophisticated, and delicious. It was a great experience- more than eating, but experiencing the food, the tastes, the way they combined with the wine. Very cool. My farewell to food continued yesterday with my birthday cake- chocolate cake with fluff icing. Mom made it. Very nice- made two wishes, one when I blew out the candles, and one when I sliced the cake- wanna guess what they were? My two year old was adorable, it was all "Happy Birthday Mommy!" all weekend, and even today when she woke up. I love her so much. I want to be here for her, to love her, and take care of her, and see her go to school, and spend as much time with her as possible.
For lunch, at work today, I had chicken on a pita, NYC style. It's grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, tzatziki sauce, on a pita. Yum. I feel really full- not busting, but really full. I will never be able to eat that whole thing again without PBing. I feel like puking now, just thinking about it. Thinking about how I probably didn't need to eat the whole thing now, maybe I would have been fine with half, or just the chicken, without the pita? It's more eating from habit than anything else. I am looking forward to new habits- healthy habits!
I will miss Captain Morgan and Pepsi, though.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Pick a Color
Where else but NYC can you get a gel pedicure, manicure, and neck/shoiulder massage for $31?
I work for a Jewish company, which means I get the high holidays off, and today is Rosh Hashana, Happy New Year!
My mom is watching my daughter and I am having a pre-birthday ME day! Yay!
Next, I am getting cut/color, and then a quick trip to the bookstore, or maybe fashion bug to get my last pair of size 24 work pants. I have been wearing my last two pairs of black fat pants for months.
I continue to be psyched up for the surgery, and even the liquid diet I start next Friday. My goal is to be 25 lbs lighter by Halloween- subject to downward revision if I lose 20 lbs on liquids, which I have in my head as possible, but am. Being too ambitious? I believe in stretch goals... Thoughts?
Xoxox
A
I work for a Jewish company, which means I get the high holidays off, and today is Rosh Hashana, Happy New Year!
My mom is watching my daughter and I am having a pre-birthday ME day! Yay!
Next, I am getting cut/color, and then a quick trip to the bookstore, or maybe fashion bug to get my last pair of size 24 work pants. I have been wearing my last two pairs of black fat pants for months.
I continue to be psyched up for the surgery, and even the liquid diet I start next Friday. My goal is to be 25 lbs lighter by Halloween- subject to downward revision if I lose 20 lbs on liquids, which I have in my head as possible, but am. Being too ambitious? I believe in stretch goals... Thoughts?
Xoxox
A
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
It's Not Monday!
So, I was inspired by Jen's post this evening. When she talked about where she is now- NOT hating how she looks, NOT stressing out about what to wear on an outing, and feeling great- that's what I want. Health benefits aside, and maybe it sounds vain, but I can't wait to feel good about what I look like. I can't wait to put something on in the morning, without changing my clothes six times. I can't wait until the person I am on the inside matches what I look like on the outside.
As always, the vets inspire me. If it's not Jen, it's Catherine, or Amy, or Drazil, or Joey, or Maria, or any one of the other many, many bloggers that I read and follow. What a powerful community we have at our fingertips! I am just getting started, and getting so excited to join the ranks of the successful. It's so heartwarming to read your stories and learn about how real women like me share the same struggles, and with this tool, this little band, are able to have what they need to stick to a healthy lifestyle and be happy.
Thanks!
As always, the vets inspire me. If it's not Jen, it's Catherine, or Amy, or Drazil, or Joey, or Maria, or any one of the other many, many bloggers that I read and follow. What a powerful community we have at our fingertips! I am just getting started, and getting so excited to join the ranks of the successful. It's so heartwarming to read your stories and learn about how real women like me share the same struggles, and with this tool, this little band, are able to have what they need to stick to a healthy lifestyle and be happy.
Thanks!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day Weak-End
Well, it's the end of Labor Day weekend folks. We had beautiful weather here in NJ- perfect, sunny, breezy, and just perfect for entertaining outdoors. We had friends over yesterday for a Jam-becue- barbecue and live music! My hubby, brother in law, our friends Gary and Elyce all played music and sang, and we had a great time. I took a break from singing, as I was hosting, and watching my 2 year old daughter with my sissy who also has 2 year old twin girls. It was a lot of fun.
I overdid it a bit, food wise. I think I am in the "last meal" phase- not good. We had snacks, sangria, dungeness crabs, grilled lamb chops, fresh corn, couscous, and burgers and dogs. I didn't eat much food- some crab and a hot dog, but I did have quite a bit of my delicious citrus sangria, and quite a bit of crab dip with pita chips. I must say that I cannot wait for my pre-band liquid diet to start- I may start it a few days early of the two week requirement. My birthday is next weekend, and the hubby and I are going to a special restaurant to celebrate. Then it's cake with my family the next day, and then I am going to either start the liquids, or be really good for the few days before I start liquids.
I am so excited that this time next year I will be much smaller! I can't wait to begin to wear what's in my closet that I have gotten too big for- I probably have work clothes from size 14- size 24, which could be depressing, but some of them have been with me for about ten years or so- too good to throw out classic Jones New York suits and dresses and stuff. Most of my wardrobe is in the 18-20 range, which I am looking forward to wearing again around Christmas time. I have put together a goal sheet for myself, averaging from 8-10 lbs per month. I hope to get a good jump on the weight loss with the liquid diet, as well, so I think 40lbs by Christmas sounds reasonable.
With the weather getting cooler, I am looking forward to getting my bike out again, and begin exploring our new neighborhood. (We moved in November)- I have been doing all of my exploring by car, but now it's time to start breaking out the walking shoes and bike. We got a seat for the back of my husband's bike for my daughter, so there are no excuses now! Should be fun.
I always feel like September is the beginning of the year- between my birthday, and all those years of school, so here's to a new year, a new me, and lots of accomplishments!
(Thank you to my eleven followers for believing that what I say is worth reading. I get a thrill every time the number inches up!)
oxox
A
I overdid it a bit, food wise. I think I am in the "last meal" phase- not good. We had snacks, sangria, dungeness crabs, grilled lamb chops, fresh corn, couscous, and burgers and dogs. I didn't eat much food- some crab and a hot dog, but I did have quite a bit of my delicious citrus sangria, and quite a bit of crab dip with pita chips. I must say that I cannot wait for my pre-band liquid diet to start- I may start it a few days early of the two week requirement. My birthday is next weekend, and the hubby and I are going to a special restaurant to celebrate. Then it's cake with my family the next day, and then I am going to either start the liquids, or be really good for the few days before I start liquids.
I am so excited that this time next year I will be much smaller! I can't wait to begin to wear what's in my closet that I have gotten too big for- I probably have work clothes from size 14- size 24, which could be depressing, but some of them have been with me for about ten years or so- too good to throw out classic Jones New York suits and dresses and stuff. Most of my wardrobe is in the 18-20 range, which I am looking forward to wearing again around Christmas time. I have put together a goal sheet for myself, averaging from 8-10 lbs per month. I hope to get a good jump on the weight loss with the liquid diet, as well, so I think 40lbs by Christmas sounds reasonable.
With the weather getting cooler, I am looking forward to getting my bike out again, and begin exploring our new neighborhood. (We moved in November)- I have been doing all of my exploring by car, but now it's time to start breaking out the walking shoes and bike. We got a seat for the back of my husband's bike for my daughter, so there are no excuses now! Should be fun.
I always feel like September is the beginning of the year- between my birthday, and all those years of school, so here's to a new year, a new me, and lots of accomplishments!
(Thank you to my eleven followers for believing that what I say is worth reading. I get a thrill every time the number inches up!)
oxox
A
Friday, September 3, 2010
Pre-Weekend Fun Stuff
So, had my blood work today. Getting pretty psyched about the big day coming up in the next few weeks- 10/1 is the big day! I am hoping my thyroid levels are getting to where they need to be, since my MD said that it could be an issue if they are not. Does anyone out there have hypothyroidism managed with medication and a lap band?
Starting to think about food post band, and what I will miss. I had pizza for lunch, and realized I probably won't be eating much pizza. My first reaction is who cares, I have eaten enough pizza to last a lifetime as it is, I won't miss it. Ice cream, however, well, let's not go there just now. I need to ride the will power wave and not think bad thoughts.
I am thinking of getting a scale for my birthday- next Friday- maybe a boring gift, but I am thinking of it as a friend, someone who even when I dread greeting them, I am left with some insight.
Thank you new followers! I am focusing on writing each day at this point, and getting something real down. I get funnier.
Starting to think about food post band, and what I will miss. I had pizza for lunch, and realized I probably won't be eating much pizza. My first reaction is who cares, I have eaten enough pizza to last a lifetime as it is, I won't miss it. Ice cream, however, well, let's not go there just now. I need to ride the will power wave and not think bad thoughts.
I am thinking of getting a scale for my birthday- next Friday- maybe a boring gift, but I am thinking of it as a friend, someone who even when I dread greeting them, I am left with some insight.
Thank you new followers! I am focusing on writing each day at this point, and getting something real down. I get funnier.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Different Scale, Different Tale
So...I had occasion to see my regular doctor- a Physician's Assistant, actually, regarding some follow ups and because I have been feeling blah. The medical assistant knows better than to ask to weigh me, so it didn't come up as she was checking my vitals, but once she left the room, and I was alone with my nemesis, the scale, I decided to take a peek.
Now mind you that I had been to my surgeon, Dr. Ren's office on 8/4 for my surgical consultation and scheduling meeting.
Is it possible that I GAINED ELEVEN POUNDS in three weeks? Really???!!!!
Well, at any rate, the number was horrific. Have you ever had that experience where you set the scale manually to the last number you saw, and then have to keep pushing the pound indicators up, up, up, up, up...well, you get the idea, it was ELEVEN ups!!!!!
The PA came in, I had zero'd the scale out, and we discussed my health, my decision to get surgery (she's happy for me), and my latest blood work. No fatty liver disease (this seems to be a hot one lately, along with Vitamin D deficiency), my cholesterol is good. She took my blood pressure 120/70 in one arm, and 130/90 in the other. Weird.
So far this seems like the most boring story ever told. Sorry!
To make matters even stranger, I later dropped my prescriptions off at the window at CVS, ran a couple of errands with my daughter, then drove back to pick them up. The guy at the window doesn't ask me my name, just thrusts a prescription bag at me. I say, "wow, I guess I am pretty memorable, huh...you don't even need to ask me my name, I'm flattered!"... he gave me a furtive, speculative look, "heh.., that will be $45. " I said, "hmm...for synthroid and eye drops?" He said, "heh...Seroquel?" I said, "no, not me". He looked panicked and went back inside the window, I googled seroquel on my blackberry, and low and behold, it's an anti-psychotic. Anti-psychotic???
Hmmm...
Now mind you that I had been to my surgeon, Dr. Ren's office on 8/4 for my surgical consultation and scheduling meeting.
Is it possible that I GAINED ELEVEN POUNDS in three weeks? Really???!!!!
Well, at any rate, the number was horrific. Have you ever had that experience where you set the scale manually to the last number you saw, and then have to keep pushing the pound indicators up, up, up, up, up...well, you get the idea, it was ELEVEN ups!!!!!
The PA came in, I had zero'd the scale out, and we discussed my health, my decision to get surgery (she's happy for me), and my latest blood work. No fatty liver disease (this seems to be a hot one lately, along with Vitamin D deficiency), my cholesterol is good. She took my blood pressure 120/70 in one arm, and 130/90 in the other. Weird.
So far this seems like the most boring story ever told. Sorry!
To make matters even stranger, I later dropped my prescriptions off at the window at CVS, ran a couple of errands with my daughter, then drove back to pick them up. The guy at the window doesn't ask me my name, just thrusts a prescription bag at me. I say, "wow, I guess I am pretty memorable, huh...you don't even need to ask me my name, I'm flattered!"... he gave me a furtive, speculative look, "heh.., that will be $45. " I said, "hmm...for synthroid and eye drops?" He said, "heh...Seroquel?" I said, "no, not me". He looked panicked and went back inside the window, I googled seroquel on my blackberry, and low and behold, it's an anti-psychotic. Anti-psychotic???
Hmmm...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
WAAH!
Today I am up and down... Waah!
I am looking forward to going out to a fancy dinner this evening at a swank downtown hotel and receive wonderful accolades from my superiors and colleagues for a job well done...Yay!
I feel fat, and have nothing to wear that makes me look as accomplished as I feel professionally...Waah!
Soon my lack of well fitting clothes will be behind me! YAY!!!
In the interim, I am forced to make things look chic and fashionable in a size 24....WAAH!
Okay, I feel better now. Two more weeks until the liquid diet- I am going to enjoy them, without over doing it, and yes, I am going to have a cocktail or three this evening YAAY!
I am looking forward to going out to a fancy dinner this evening at a swank downtown hotel and receive wonderful accolades from my superiors and colleagues for a job well done...Yay!
I feel fat, and have nothing to wear that makes me look as accomplished as I feel professionally...Waah!
Soon my lack of well fitting clothes will be behind me! YAY!!!
In the interim, I am forced to make things look chic and fashionable in a size 24....WAAH!
Okay, I feel better now. Two more weeks until the liquid diet- I am going to enjoy them, without over doing it, and yes, I am going to have a cocktail or three this evening YAAY!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Another weekend gone by. It was a hot one today in NY. Went to see my stepson at the skate park ride with his friends... to be young and flexible again!
My two year old is more active than ever as well! The timing of this band couldn't be better (well, sooner may have been better), but I need to be able to run after her and catch her. She is at the age of not wanting to hold hands, not wanting to be in a stroller, and running whenever she can. She is also not so good at listening!
I am thinking about a backpack with a leash....
Happy Sunday night!
My two year old is more active than ever as well! The timing of this band couldn't be better (well, sooner may have been better), but I need to be able to run after her and catch her. She is at the age of not wanting to hold hands, not wanting to be in a stroller, and running whenever she can. She is also not so good at listening!
I am thinking about a backpack with a leash....
Happy Sunday night!
Friday, August 27, 2010
First Follower!
Wow, and I thought no one would read!
Yay!
So, I am getting more and more excited as the days go on. Today, as I was headed to sign my daughter up for dancing school, I saw that they offer Zumba at 8pm on Mondays! That is something I have always wanted to do, and now feel like I will be able to. Not that I couldn't now, but I would be uncomfortable around a lot of skinny minnies. I can't wait for exercise to be easier and easier.
Have a great weekend!
Yay!
So, I am getting more and more excited as the days go on. Today, as I was headed to sign my daughter up for dancing school, I saw that they offer Zumba at 8pm on Mondays! That is something I have always wanted to do, and now feel like I will be able to. Not that I couldn't now, but I would be uncomfortable around a lot of skinny minnies. I can't wait for exercise to be easier and easier.
Have a great weekend!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Great Start
Woke up late again- weird dreams, restless night. Jumped in the shower and did my thing, dropped my razor and after picking it up smashed my head on the marble shelf in the corner of the shower. OWWWWWWW!!!!! Not sure if I now have a dent or a bump in my head, but let's leave it at that.
Why this story in a blog about my upcoming lap band surgery?
Sometimes you need to be smashed in the head with something to realize a change is needed. The smash to my head, literally, aside, I am experiencing more signs from my body that a dramatic change in my weight is necessary.
Last week on vacation, I had the opportunity (as opposed to challenge :) of going up and down several flights of stairs many times a day. I live in a single level house, so steps are not a part of my every day reality (that and the fact that I take the elevator at work). My knees, after driving for seven plus hours, and my five days of flights, are so sore and swollen. When I went to bed last night, I actually had trouble sleeping from the pain. I had to get up and take three Advil just to get to sleep. I also took the opportunity to squelch my chronic agita and took four tums.
I am sure I spent the better part of the night tossing and turning, snoring at top volume.
These little annoyances aren't going away by themselves. I need help. Thank God for the band. I can't wait to have you in me, acting on my behalf, helping me make good choices consistently.
Why this story in a blog about my upcoming lap band surgery?
Sometimes you need to be smashed in the head with something to realize a change is needed. The smash to my head, literally, aside, I am experiencing more signs from my body that a dramatic change in my weight is necessary.
Last week on vacation, I had the opportunity (as opposed to challenge :) of going up and down several flights of stairs many times a day. I live in a single level house, so steps are not a part of my every day reality (that and the fact that I take the elevator at work). My knees, after driving for seven plus hours, and my five days of flights, are so sore and swollen. When I went to bed last night, I actually had trouble sleeping from the pain. I had to get up and take three Advil just to get to sleep. I also took the opportunity to squelch my chronic agita and took four tums.
I am sure I spent the better part of the night tossing and turning, snoring at top volume.
These little annoyances aren't going away by themselves. I need help. Thank God for the band. I can't wait to have you in me, acting on my behalf, helping me make good choices consistently.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I Need A Vacation From My Vacation
Back from a family vacation with parents, hubby, son, daughter, sister, brother in law, twin nieces, brother, sister in law, niece, nephew and the newest 6 week old addition to the family, my little niece.
Let's just say that my next vacation will be a business trip!
The best part of the vacation was the pictures. They highlighted the best parts of the trip up to Maine- smiling faces, beautiful scenery, and general bliss. The pics of me will serve as my "before" shots- a way to soften the blow from the devastation I experience when I see a picture of myself these days. I am at my all time highest weight (including pregnancy!!!!!), and the pictures don't lie. On my next vacation I will be hamming it up in front of the camera, showing off my new svelte self! Something to look forward to :)
Back to the grind- that reminds me, I need coffee!
Let's just say that my next vacation will be a business trip!
The best part of the vacation was the pictures. They highlighted the best parts of the trip up to Maine- smiling faces, beautiful scenery, and general bliss. The pics of me will serve as my "before" shots- a way to soften the blow from the devastation I experience when I see a picture of myself these days. I am at my all time highest weight (including pregnancy!!!!!), and the pictures don't lie. On my next vacation I will be hamming it up in front of the camera, showing off my new svelte self! Something to look forward to :)
Back to the grind- that reminds me, I need coffee!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
On many of the successful blogger's blogs the issue of maintenance is being written about. Although I am at the begining of this journey, it's an important matter to consider.
If the goal is to be healthy, for a lot of people that could be relative. Losing 100+ pounds of course leads to being more healthy! I guess it comes down to personal goals at the very end. For me, being able to walk into Banana Republic and pick out a size fourteen and know it fits is one of my goals now. But who knows how I will feel when I get to be a sixteen- maybe that will be enough? Maybe a ten is where I will end up? For me, losing 150 pounds would be so amazing, and at my height I will probably look great at 175- that's just at the "normal range" though. Will I want/need to have some wiggle room? After this life changing process I don't want to still be "overweight", but primarily, I want to be strong, and healthy.
If the goal is to be healthy, for a lot of people that could be relative. Losing 100+ pounds of course leads to being more healthy! I guess it comes down to personal goals at the very end. For me, being able to walk into Banana Republic and pick out a size fourteen and know it fits is one of my goals now. But who knows how I will feel when I get to be a sixteen- maybe that will be enough? Maybe a ten is where I will end up? For me, losing 150 pounds would be so amazing, and at my height I will probably look great at 175- that's just at the "normal range" though. Will I want/need to have some wiggle room? After this life changing process I don't want to still be "overweight", but primarily, I want to be strong, and healthy.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Update
So, my appt. with the psych was postponed last week, but it's fine. I had my appt. with my nutritionist, surgeon, and NPs on 8/4- I am so excited to announce that I will be banded on 10/1/10! Good date, right?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Stressed Out!
So, while I am excited about taking charge of my health and putting myself first, I am mired in stress at both work and home.
At times like this I want to just eat ice cream and salty and sweet granola bars to push away the fear, anger, and guilt for not being simply loving and supportive. As I approach my life changing surgery, I am scared that I will not be able to push down my feelings with food and will explode!
I realize that some might (if anyone but me ever reads my blog :) ) think that I am selfish for feeling the way that I do. My husband loves me, and I love him. The fact that we are able to make ends meet without him working is more than most people can say, and I am grateful that our situation is what it is, and not what a lot of others are going through.
I am strong. I am able to process these emotions and not implode over the stress of it all. I want to move forward and take care of me. I know that it will be hard, but I have to remember why I am doing this in the first place- health, confidence, and to fully embrace my life.
Tomorrow will be better.
xoxox
A
At times like this I want to just eat ice cream and salty and sweet granola bars to push away the fear, anger, and guilt for not being simply loving and supportive. As I approach my life changing surgery, I am scared that I will not be able to push down my feelings with food and will explode!
I realize that some might (if anyone but me ever reads my blog :) ) think that I am selfish for feeling the way that I do. My husband loves me, and I love him. The fact that we are able to make ends meet without him working is more than most people can say, and I am grateful that our situation is what it is, and not what a lot of others are going through.
I am strong. I am able to process these emotions and not implode over the stress of it all. I want to move forward and take care of me. I know that it will be hard, but I have to remember why I am doing this in the first place- health, confidence, and to fully embrace my life.
Tomorrow will be better.
xoxox
A
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Getting Excited Now
Hi there,
So, Friday is my big day- the psych eval. I am psych-ed! :)
Life in my world is stressful right now. Too many projects at work, too may stressors at home. I am glad that I am coming to the begining of a new phase of my life- putting myself first -it feels weird and selfish to write that considering I have a two year old- but as someone told me "you can be a good caretaker if you don't take care of yourself". True.
My health is very important to me now. More important consciously, than it has ever been. It's difficult to explain, but now that I have a child, my being around for her and able to support and love her for as long as possible.
This journey I am undertaking is scary, in some ways, but very thrilling in others. My dream of being able to walk into any store and pick out an outfit is one thing, but actually taking responsibility for my health is even more exciting.
xoxo
A
So, Friday is my big day- the psych eval. I am psych-ed! :)
Life in my world is stressful right now. Too many projects at work, too may stressors at home. I am glad that I am coming to the begining of a new phase of my life- putting myself first -it feels weird and selfish to write that considering I have a two year old- but as someone told me "you can be a good caretaker if you don't take care of yourself". True.
My health is very important to me now. More important consciously, than it has ever been. It's difficult to explain, but now that I have a child, my being around for her and able to support and love her for as long as possible.
This journey I am undertaking is scary, in some ways, but very thrilling in others. My dream of being able to walk into any store and pick out an outfit is one thing, but actually taking responsibility for my health is even more exciting.
xoxo
A
Monday, July 26, 2010
I'm Ready
So, this is my first entry of my "band" blog. Yay!
Background:
Female, age 41, Virgo
Over-achiever
Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter
Enabler?
Tall
Beautiful
Obese
Pre-surgical interviews/consult 7/3-0-8/4
As my two year old daughter would say..."here my go..."
I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. I always remember being bigger, even when I was a kid. Always tall (I'm 5'11), and bigger than most kids my age, I spent most of my childhood and early adolescence being a tomboy- acting uninterested in boys to ward off any one noticing me as anything other than a scully or skateboarding friend, and in my mind, preventing ridicule.
Thinking back, I remember being in like 7th grade, or so- 11 or 12, and going on a diet. I was 157lbs and got down to 147. I was about 5'5. There was a boy that I liked, but I was ashamed of how I looked, so I stayed away. It was certainly a little crush, but I felt fat, and looking back, I was a little soft, but hardly fat. Like the other girls my age, I still wore drawstring shorts, short sleeve shirts, and buffalo shoes, but I tried to be invisible.
Fast forward twenty years or so- I met my hubby ten years ago, and we married in 2005. Together we have a beautiful daughter, who just turned two. She is the light of my life. My husband loves me for me, has always been supportive, and continues to be supportive of my choice to have gastric banding. I am blessed to also have a step son, who is thirteen, and who fills me with hope for the next generation of men- he is truly a wonderful person!
I have been on a diet a few times- "Diet Center" when I was in my late teens- I lost about 30 lbs or so, and was around 189. I also tried Nutrisystem- in my early twenties- I probably weighed around 230? In my late twenties/early thirties, it was a low carb/high protein with intese exercise- I started at 280 and got down to 240. Honestly, I felt pretty hot at 240, which is crazy, right? I have had half hearted attempts at weight loss, only to sabotage myself. I always say, "I have to be ready to lose weight..." What am I waiting for? I guess the answer is to do it for me. To lose weight for me, FIRST. Not my parents, society, acceptance, love, my boyfriend... For me.
Now that I am over 40, and so blessed to have it all, the last thing to accomplish is the weight loss. I'm ready. I know I can do it. I will need support, and I'm not afraid to ask for it- that's part of the reason for my blog. Hopefully, there are people out there who relate, and have been where I am, and who in the future I can motivate too.
So here I am. 300+ pounds. I haven't weighed myself in a few months, and I am afraid to get on. I have come to the decision that I need to do something different- I need some help. I know that the lap band is not a magic bullet- it takes work, exercise, discipline. I am ready. I can't wait to lose this extra person I have been dragging around!
Here are my reasons:
1. Be healthy
2. Embrace activity again- I remember loving exercise when it wasn't torture
3. Be a role model to my daughter and twin two year old neices
4. Be able to shop and pick out any size 12 confidently!
5. Shoe size shrink? I am a size 12W (try buying shoes- it's not easy!)
6. Rock out a hot swimsuit
7. Feel sexy again. I haven't felt sexy in about 50lbs
8. Be more attractive
9. Zumba
10. Gain control of my destiny and life
Reading all of the blogs out there has really inspired me. Amy, in particular, and Catherine are very inspirational. I hope to be an inspiration too. Thanks for reading, and for joining me on this exciting and scary ride!
xxoxox
Annie
Background:
Female, age 41, Virgo
Over-achiever
Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter
Enabler?
Tall
Beautiful
Obese
Pre-surgical interviews/consult 7/3-0-8/4
As my two year old daughter would say..."here my go..."
I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. I always remember being bigger, even when I was a kid. Always tall (I'm 5'11), and bigger than most kids my age, I spent most of my childhood and early adolescence being a tomboy- acting uninterested in boys to ward off any one noticing me as anything other than a scully or skateboarding friend, and in my mind, preventing ridicule.
Thinking back, I remember being in like 7th grade, or so- 11 or 12, and going on a diet. I was 157lbs and got down to 147. I was about 5'5. There was a boy that I liked, but I was ashamed of how I looked, so I stayed away. It was certainly a little crush, but I felt fat, and looking back, I was a little soft, but hardly fat. Like the other girls my age, I still wore drawstring shorts, short sleeve shirts, and buffalo shoes, but I tried to be invisible.
Fast forward twenty years or so- I met my hubby ten years ago, and we married in 2005. Together we have a beautiful daughter, who just turned two. She is the light of my life. My husband loves me for me, has always been supportive, and continues to be supportive of my choice to have gastric banding. I am blessed to also have a step son, who is thirteen, and who fills me with hope for the next generation of men- he is truly a wonderful person!
I have been on a diet a few times- "Diet Center" when I was in my late teens- I lost about 30 lbs or so, and was around 189. I also tried Nutrisystem- in my early twenties- I probably weighed around 230? In my late twenties/early thirties, it was a low carb/high protein with intese exercise- I started at 280 and got down to 240. Honestly, I felt pretty hot at 240, which is crazy, right? I have had half hearted attempts at weight loss, only to sabotage myself. I always say, "I have to be ready to lose weight..." What am I waiting for? I guess the answer is to do it for me. To lose weight for me, FIRST. Not my parents, society, acceptance, love, my boyfriend... For me.
Now that I am over 40, and so blessed to have it all, the last thing to accomplish is the weight loss. I'm ready. I know I can do it. I will need support, and I'm not afraid to ask for it- that's part of the reason for my blog. Hopefully, there are people out there who relate, and have been where I am, and who in the future I can motivate too.
So here I am. 300+ pounds. I haven't weighed myself in a few months, and I am afraid to get on. I have come to the decision that I need to do something different- I need some help. I know that the lap band is not a magic bullet- it takes work, exercise, discipline. I am ready. I can't wait to lose this extra person I have been dragging around!
Here are my reasons:
1. Be healthy
2. Embrace activity again- I remember loving exercise when it wasn't torture
3. Be a role model to my daughter and twin two year old neices
4. Be able to shop and pick out any size 12 confidently!
5. Shoe size shrink? I am a size 12W (try buying shoes- it's not easy!)
6. Rock out a hot swimsuit
7. Feel sexy again. I haven't felt sexy in about 50lbs
8. Be more attractive
9. Zumba
10. Gain control of my destiny and life
Reading all of the blogs out there has really inspired me. Amy, in particular, and Catherine are very inspirational. I hope to be an inspiration too. Thanks for reading, and for joining me on this exciting and scary ride!
xxoxox
Annie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)