Hey there,
So, I had the fill on Friday- .6, and boy am I tight!!! Too tight, maybe! I am still on liquids- aargh!
I am calling the MD office this afternoon.
More to come!
A
Monday, May 13, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
So Happy to Have Had a Fill
Hello Bandsters!
Just wanted to check in and give you guys an update on what's been happening with me since my last post back in August! I would say that I can't believe it's been that long, but if I really think about it, it does feel like a long time since my head has been on straight.
So, yeah, blogging helps keep my head on straight. Blogging keeps my head on straight. Repeat ten times daily.
I have had a stressful year. Well, stressful few years, but I had taken my focus off of myself about a year into the band, and bad things happened. When I don't treat myself kindly, when I avoid things that I don't want to deal with stress builds. With stress building, my band was not happy. I have had many times where I can't get through a meal without a problem, and I thought my band was too tight. The reality is that my band was not too tight. I was just making poor food choices based on emotional needs, and actually, my band wasn't tight enough. Not being able to eat a chicken gyro is okay. I should expect that bread is really hard to eat. I had developed strategies to eat around my band, that I wasn't necessarily consciously aware of, but the reality is that drinking a hot cup of tea while eating something crunchy makes the food go down easier. I was not following the rules, and I gained weight. It sucks, but I own it, and now I am actually excited to start again.
More news! I went to the MD today for my annual esophogram and check up. I always dread and avoid as part of some of the negative ways I deal with stress, so I was really happy that I followed through on the appointment. Yes, I have gained, I knew this, but happily, my band looks perfect and I had a fill of .6 so now I am at 6.0 in my band. I am on liquids for two days and mushies for two days, and now I am back on the monthly check in schedule. It feels good that I can get back on the wagon and not feel shame and hopelessness. The truth is that I have my band, it's my tool. It is in great condition, and it will work for me it I let it. I need to start over mentally. Get psyched about having a band that will be my internal coach.
So, here I am starting over, not back to the beginning, but excited to get this back on track. Thanks to you all for reading this, and for your continued support!
xoxoxox
Annie
Just wanted to check in and give you guys an update on what's been happening with me since my last post back in August! I would say that I can't believe it's been that long, but if I really think about it, it does feel like a long time since my head has been on straight.
So, yeah, blogging helps keep my head on straight. Blogging keeps my head on straight. Repeat ten times daily.
I have had a stressful year. Well, stressful few years, but I had taken my focus off of myself about a year into the band, and bad things happened. When I don't treat myself kindly, when I avoid things that I don't want to deal with stress builds. With stress building, my band was not happy. I have had many times where I can't get through a meal without a problem, and I thought my band was too tight. The reality is that my band was not too tight. I was just making poor food choices based on emotional needs, and actually, my band wasn't tight enough. Not being able to eat a chicken gyro is okay. I should expect that bread is really hard to eat. I had developed strategies to eat around my band, that I wasn't necessarily consciously aware of, but the reality is that drinking a hot cup of tea while eating something crunchy makes the food go down easier. I was not following the rules, and I gained weight. It sucks, but I own it, and now I am actually excited to start again.
More news! I went to the MD today for my annual esophogram and check up. I always dread and avoid as part of some of the negative ways I deal with stress, so I was really happy that I followed through on the appointment. Yes, I have gained, I knew this, but happily, my band looks perfect and I had a fill of .6 so now I am at 6.0 in my band. I am on liquids for two days and mushies for two days, and now I am back on the monthly check in schedule. It feels good that I can get back on the wagon and not feel shame and hopelessness. The truth is that I have my band, it's my tool. It is in great condition, and it will work for me it I let it. I need to start over mentally. Get psyched about having a band that will be my internal coach.
So, here I am starting over, not back to the beginning, but excited to get this back on track. Thanks to you all for reading this, and for your continued support!
xoxoxox
Annie
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