So, what started out with a bang, is ending up with a bit of a sputter. I did not eat well today!
No details- it's too depressing.
Work is stressful, but normally, I thrive on that. I just seem somewhat lacking in motivation in general lately- need to do so many things- work, home, family, money management, etc. Just like everyone else, I know, but sometimes I feel like my subconscious rebels and does the opposite of what I really need to do. Don't worry, though, I will be discussing this with my therapist on Saturday! She always has good insights, and her advice, which is often the advice I would give someone in my situation, is dead on, and somehow feels more do-able when coming from her, rather than from me.
No pity party here though- tomorrow is another day to succeed- Fall down seven times, get up eight!
So, that's what I will be doing tomorrow. For tonight, I am just going to chill and try to get to bed at a reasonable time.
Good night friends, and stay strong!
xoxo
Annie
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Day 2 of Blogging RE-Committment
Lovies!
Today has been a fairly good day, food wise, and an eye opening one at that.
First- what did I eat today? Hmm..
large iced coffee with splenda and fat free half and half
12 ounces of pineapple low fat cottage cheese
pita chips
tea with milk and splenda
water
Now, this could be better, I know, but let's focus on the positives, shall we? 1. I ate protein for lunch- in fact, I not only ate protein, but I actually ate something I brought from home for lunch! Yay me!! The pita chips I had in the fridge at work, so they went nicely with the cottage cheese- like a chips and dip thing.
I have gotten into a bad habit of ordering food for lunch. Very bad habit. Tuna melt on a roll- I only can eat about 1/4 of the roll, or I puke it up, but seriously? Tuna with mayo and cheese? Not necessary. My other lunch of choice has been 2 beef patties. Jamaican. I usually end up puking most of it, but there is something I love about them. I need to put these two habits on hold. Not good.
What will I bring tomorrow? Maybe I will make egg salad, or tuna? I don't mind the mayo bit, especially if I am in control of how much I add. I need something crunchy with this. Maybe some kind of vegetable? We will see. Small steps.
Speaking of steps, I saw one of my colleagues this morning, and she looks fabulous. We were discussing another fab looking colleague, who has lost like 90 or more lbs this year alone. She is doing it through eating very low carb, exercising like crazy, and having her thyroid condition diagnosed and finally treated. She looks a-mazing! The first colleage I spoke of, let's call her Monica, also looks great. Turns out she is biking to work- admirable! and is doing the "slow carb" diet. Protein, beans and veggies at every meal. No white carbs- the deadly dairy, sugar and flour combo. Now, this is intriguiging me for some reason.
My brother is on some bean kick as well, and is a runner to boot. He is one of those people who eats the same thing every day, runs every day at lunchtime- you know the type. He eats beans every meal- with kale, and some kind of protein. Turns out, that's kind of the thing that the slow carb diet advocates, PLUS, it calls for a cheat day, which in my past experience, makes a diet (I was doing a low carb plus working out diet) very do-able.
What's all this rambling about anyway? I don't know- I guess I am kind of excited to be back!!
Oh, and I wanted to tell you that I have a new therapist, Jill, who I love! She is kick ass!
smooches!!
A
Today has been a fairly good day, food wise, and an eye opening one at that.
First- what did I eat today? Hmm..
large iced coffee with splenda and fat free half and half
12 ounces of pineapple low fat cottage cheese
pita chips
tea with milk and splenda
water
Now, this could be better, I know, but let's focus on the positives, shall we? 1. I ate protein for lunch- in fact, I not only ate protein, but I actually ate something I brought from home for lunch! Yay me!! The pita chips I had in the fridge at work, so they went nicely with the cottage cheese- like a chips and dip thing.
I have gotten into a bad habit of ordering food for lunch. Very bad habit. Tuna melt on a roll- I only can eat about 1/4 of the roll, or I puke it up, but seriously? Tuna with mayo and cheese? Not necessary. My other lunch of choice has been 2 beef patties. Jamaican. I usually end up puking most of it, but there is something I love about them. I need to put these two habits on hold. Not good.
What will I bring tomorrow? Maybe I will make egg salad, or tuna? I don't mind the mayo bit, especially if I am in control of how much I add. I need something crunchy with this. Maybe some kind of vegetable? We will see. Small steps.
Speaking of steps, I saw one of my colleagues this morning, and she looks fabulous. We were discussing another fab looking colleague, who has lost like 90 or more lbs this year alone. She is doing it through eating very low carb, exercising like crazy, and having her thyroid condition diagnosed and finally treated. She looks a-mazing! The first colleage I spoke of, let's call her Monica, also looks great. Turns out she is biking to work- admirable! and is doing the "slow carb" diet. Protein, beans and veggies at every meal. No white carbs- the deadly dairy, sugar and flour combo. Now, this is intriguiging me for some reason.
My brother is on some bean kick as well, and is a runner to boot. He is one of those people who eats the same thing every day, runs every day at lunchtime- you know the type. He eats beans every meal- with kale, and some kind of protein. Turns out, that's kind of the thing that the slow carb diet advocates, PLUS, it calls for a cheat day, which in my past experience, makes a diet (I was doing a low carb plus working out diet) very do-able.
What's all this rambling about anyway? I don't know- I guess I am kind of excited to be back!!
Oh, and I wanted to tell you that I have a new therapist, Jill, who I love! She is kick ass!
smooches!!
A
Monday, August 6, 2012
I'm BAACK!!!
Hello People Fighting the Good Fight!
I am back!
I have taken a hiatus for eight months now- can't believe it has been that long!
Let's take some time to get re-acquainted...shall we? I still have my band, am still at the same job, married to the same guy, and have no new children here, or on the way. We haven't moved, nobody died, and nothing too terrible has happened outside of the ordinary terrible things that happen to regular people like me.
I guess I just gave up there for a bit.
The band is so finicky, and when it got hard, I bailed. I haven't been to the doctor since I last blogged either, oops! I am up 12 pounds from the time I last posted my weight on here, but about 19 from my ALL TIME LOW- which was a result of being too tight, unable to swallow my own spit, and landing in the ER for a complete unfill back in November.
I am neither tight nor loose. I still pb almost daily if I am not careful, and sometimes it feels like I don't eat anything. I guess that's not really true though, because the sliders still slide- ice cream, cookies, crunchy things, etc. I still need to be careful with meals, but otherwise, I have been eating everything bad, and not paying attention. I am coming clean here people!
Why today? Why right now to come clean? Well, I'm bored. Yes, I said it. I'm bored with being a size 18/20. Bored with the cheat foods that frankly, are not doing much for me anymore. My birthday is next month, and maybe that's another reason. Middle age is rapidly approaching, and I need to get this ass in gear! What else, oh, our annual employee health assessment is happening, and I don't want to be up from last year- when I weighed myself this morning, I was up four pounds from my weight last year, so that's a motivation. Also, I am joining our work walking challenge- 8,000 steps a day from September to November, and the winning teams get entered into a raffle to win a trip to ____. Very exciting, and motivating.
Also, I am just back from vacation, and it feels like the time is right to get back to business!
Hope you are all fabulous and doing well!
xoxo
Annie
I am back!
I have taken a hiatus for eight months now- can't believe it has been that long!
Let's take some time to get re-acquainted...shall we? I still have my band, am still at the same job, married to the same guy, and have no new children here, or on the way. We haven't moved, nobody died, and nothing too terrible has happened outside of the ordinary terrible things that happen to regular people like me.
I guess I just gave up there for a bit.
The band is so finicky, and when it got hard, I bailed. I haven't been to the doctor since I last blogged either, oops! I am up 12 pounds from the time I last posted my weight on here, but about 19 from my ALL TIME LOW- which was a result of being too tight, unable to swallow my own spit, and landing in the ER for a complete unfill back in November.
I am neither tight nor loose. I still pb almost daily if I am not careful, and sometimes it feels like I don't eat anything. I guess that's not really true though, because the sliders still slide- ice cream, cookies, crunchy things, etc. I still need to be careful with meals, but otherwise, I have been eating everything bad, and not paying attention. I am coming clean here people!
Why today? Why right now to come clean? Well, I'm bored. Yes, I said it. I'm bored with being a size 18/20. Bored with the cheat foods that frankly, are not doing much for me anymore. My birthday is next month, and maybe that's another reason. Middle age is rapidly approaching, and I need to get this ass in gear! What else, oh, our annual employee health assessment is happening, and I don't want to be up from last year- when I weighed myself this morning, I was up four pounds from my weight last year, so that's a motivation. Also, I am joining our work walking challenge- 8,000 steps a day from September to November, and the winning teams get entered into a raffle to win a trip to ____. Very exciting, and motivating.
Also, I am just back from vacation, and it feels like the time is right to get back to business!
Hope you are all fabulous and doing well!
xoxo
Annie
Thursday, December 15, 2011
My Fill is Inadequate, and I Actually Have to Try
Hey there,
So, I had my fill (5.0 cc's), and I feel... nothing. I am scheduled for another fill next week- the 21st. I am trying to be good until then, but I did have a piece of carrot cake today. Ugh.
I am up about 12 ish pounds from my low, and I want that number to come back. I notice it in my face, mostly, and around my middle. Flattering, right? Awesome.
In the midst of holiday fetes, drinking upsurges, and high stress, this is the LEAST wonderful time to lose weight, or maintain, for Pete's sake, but alas, my fill on the 21st, should help tremendously. I am sure they will be ultra conservative in what they give me- probably 1.0 or less, I am thinking, since with the holidays, I am sure the place will be a ghost town.
Until then, lights, wrapping, and CARDS! I haven't done my cards yet! EEK! Guess what I will be doing this weekend? Cookies and cards!
xoxoxoxo
A
So, I had my fill (5.0 cc's), and I feel... nothing. I am scheduled for another fill next week- the 21st. I am trying to be good until then, but I did have a piece of carrot cake today. Ugh.
I am up about 12 ish pounds from my low, and I want that number to come back. I notice it in my face, mostly, and around my middle. Flattering, right? Awesome.
In the midst of holiday fetes, drinking upsurges, and high stress, this is the LEAST wonderful time to lose weight, or maintain, for Pete's sake, but alas, my fill on the 21st, should help tremendously. I am sure they will be ultra conservative in what they give me- probably 1.0 or less, I am thinking, since with the holidays, I am sure the place will be a ghost town.
Until then, lights, wrapping, and CARDS! I haven't done my cards yet! EEK! Guess what I will be doing this weekend? Cookies and cards!
xoxoxoxo
A
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Day Before Tomorrow
Hello!
So, here I am again, being accountable to myself! Hello, Self!
Weight- down one lb since yesterday. So far this week down seven pounds.
Food:
Thursday PM
tea with milk and splenda for ride home
matzoh brei- one and half matzoh one egg, tsp butter, ketchup (estimated portion of family meal)
vodka and lemonade
three pieces of english toffee and two spoons of ice cream
Friday AM
coffee with half and half and splenda
3ish oz. pernil with 5 or so pieces of sweet plantains and 2 tbsp rice
tea with milk and splenda
I am not making the best choices, but I am eating protein up the ying yang. The pernil and plantains were a nice treat- not something I eat ever, but the mood struck. The portion was gigantic, so I spooned out some meat (served in separate container) and had a fewish pieces of plaintain. My friend ordered the rice- plain rice, so I had two plastic spoons of it which I mixed in with the cut up pork and plantains. Yum. Not stuffed, satisfied feeling, but seriously jonesing for chocolate. What's up with that??
I like not feeling like I want to hurl after eating, but I would like a bit more restriction, although the matzoh brei did not go so well last night, it was a little dryish, but yummy. It is something that my husband loves, and is a comfort type food, basically just matzoh crumbled up moistened with water, egg, pepper. I use butter in the frying pan and mix it up like scrambled eggs. Some say there are as many recipes for matzoh brei as people who love it, maybe that's true, but this is how I make it, and it's actually good.
Anyway, it's almost the weekend! YAY! I am getting color/blow out this afternoon, in an effort to beautify myself and feel good. Tomorrow I am taking Morgan to see Santa at the mall- not sure which one yet, but hopefully it will not be too stressful.
Have a great weekend!!
Annie
So, here I am again, being accountable to myself! Hello, Self!
Weight- down one lb since yesterday. So far this week down seven pounds.
Food:
Thursday PM
tea with milk and splenda for ride home
matzoh brei- one and half matzoh one egg, tsp butter, ketchup (estimated portion of family meal)
vodka and lemonade
three pieces of english toffee and two spoons of ice cream
Friday AM
coffee with half and half and splenda
3ish oz. pernil with 5 or so pieces of sweet plantains and 2 tbsp rice
tea with milk and splenda
I am not making the best choices, but I am eating protein up the ying yang. The pernil and plantains were a nice treat- not something I eat ever, but the mood struck. The portion was gigantic, so I spooned out some meat (served in separate container) and had a fewish pieces of plaintain. My friend ordered the rice- plain rice, so I had two plastic spoons of it which I mixed in with the cut up pork and plantains. Yum. Not stuffed, satisfied feeling, but seriously jonesing for chocolate. What's up with that??
I like not feeling like I want to hurl after eating, but I would like a bit more restriction, although the matzoh brei did not go so well last night, it was a little dryish, but yummy. It is something that my husband loves, and is a comfort type food, basically just matzoh crumbled up moistened with water, egg, pepper. I use butter in the frying pan and mix it up like scrambled eggs. Some say there are as many recipes for matzoh brei as people who love it, maybe that's true, but this is how I make it, and it's actually good.
Anyway, it's almost the weekend! YAY! I am getting color/blow out this afternoon, in an effort to beautify myself and feel good. Tomorrow I am taking Morgan to see Santa at the mall- not sure which one yet, but hopefully it will not be too stressful.
Have a great weekend!!
Annie
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Back in the Saddle
So, as part of my commitment to MYSELF, I am going to be blogging more. Thanks to everyone for your kind comments yesterday! It helps to know that I have you in my corner!
I must tell you though, that I cannot comment from work- very annoying, and while I am reading your blogs and rooting for you, you don't know that, unless I comment. I get it. I felt so good when I saw the comments you left, and I am committing to commenting from home to let you all know that I am here, and supporting you.
So, I have five cc's in my band! Yay! I am not, however in the green zone. I want to go back for another fill so bad, but I know that I need to give this level a chance. I think my sweet spot is 6.5-7. Anything more than that is treacherous for me, and even close to 7 is probably too much. I was pb'ing like crazy before, and that's not good. Having my band emptied makes me realize more than ever that I NEED this TOOL to help me. It's not the ultimate solution, however, I need to do the WORK. Maybe that's what having 5.0ccs will teach me? How to be able to eat like a regular person, but in moderation. Here's what I ate in the last 24 hours:
Wednesday
coffee with half and half and splenda
tea with milk
the chicken part of a chicken gyro- and one or two bites of the pita
one swedish fish
tea with milk
1 serving pita chips
1 vodka and lemonade
1/4 Trade Joe's spinach pie
1 vodka and lemonade
3 Trader Joe's English toffee pieces
Thursday
2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice of cheese, 2 pieces of toast
coffee with half and half
That's it so far. I want to keep it real, that's the reason for the food log. I am also using My Fitness P*al, which, I love. If you don't already use it, check it out, it's awesome.
In thinking about what I ate/could eat pre-unfill, I am really eating a lot more! I could never eat bread- let alone in the morning. I ate it because I figured it would potentially de-rail lunch hunger, and I could have a sp K protein shake for lunch. We will see about that shortly!
That's it. All's well on the personal front as well- fingers crossed.
xoxoxoxo
Annie
I must tell you though, that I cannot comment from work- very annoying, and while I am reading your blogs and rooting for you, you don't know that, unless I comment. I get it. I felt so good when I saw the comments you left, and I am committing to commenting from home to let you all know that I am here, and supporting you.
So, I have five cc's in my band! Yay! I am not, however in the green zone. I want to go back for another fill so bad, but I know that I need to give this level a chance. I think my sweet spot is 6.5-7. Anything more than that is treacherous for me, and even close to 7 is probably too much. I was pb'ing like crazy before, and that's not good. Having my band emptied makes me realize more than ever that I NEED this TOOL to help me. It's not the ultimate solution, however, I need to do the WORK. Maybe that's what having 5.0ccs will teach me? How to be able to eat like a regular person, but in moderation. Here's what I ate in the last 24 hours:
Wednesday
coffee with half and half and splenda
tea with milk
the chicken part of a chicken gyro- and one or two bites of the pita
one swedish fish
tea with milk
1 serving pita chips
1 vodka and lemonade
1/4 Trade Joe's spinach pie
1 vodka and lemonade
3 Trader Joe's English toffee pieces
Thursday
2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice of cheese, 2 pieces of toast
coffee with half and half
That's it so far. I want to keep it real, that's the reason for the food log. I am also using My Fitness P*al, which, I love. If you don't already use it, check it out, it's awesome.
In thinking about what I ate/could eat pre-unfill, I am really eating a lot more! I could never eat bread- let alone in the morning. I ate it because I figured it would potentially de-rail lunch hunger, and I could have a sp K protein shake for lunch. We will see about that shortly!
That's it. All's well on the personal front as well- fingers crossed.
xoxoxoxo
Annie
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Got My Fill
Hey Chicas,
So, I got my fill, and I feel great. I had 5.0 cc's put in- as you may remember I had it emptied, and have been living with it empty since 11/2. I gained nine pounds in that time, but the good news is that I am down six of those! Yay! I love liquids!
The good news is that I feel pretty motivated.
So, here's a NSV. Today I am wearing a dress- kind of shorter than I am comfortable with, but I am wearing tights. I feel self conscious today. I did get some feedback that I look great in this dress, and when I made a face and my usual "I feel fat, my legs look terrible in this, it's so short" comment, the person said I look great, in fact, they love seeing me in dresses, and that I am extremely beautiful.
Uh.
So, it's not a sexual harrassment thing, so don't get all uncomfortable. It was kind of a nice compliment, and I took it as such. I now, no longer feel AS self conscious in my short dress.
He he he
Things are better on the home front as well, which is great. I think I hit a low point last week, when I finally posted after so long. Things are looking up!
xoxoxo
Annie
So, I got my fill, and I feel great. I had 5.0 cc's put in- as you may remember I had it emptied, and have been living with it empty since 11/2. I gained nine pounds in that time, but the good news is that I am down six of those! Yay! I love liquids!
The good news is that I feel pretty motivated.
So, here's a NSV. Today I am wearing a dress- kind of shorter than I am comfortable with, but I am wearing tights. I feel self conscious today. I did get some feedback that I look great in this dress, and when I made a face and my usual "I feel fat, my legs look terrible in this, it's so short" comment, the person said I look great, in fact, they love seeing me in dresses, and that I am extremely beautiful.
Uh.
So, it's not a sexual harrassment thing, so don't get all uncomfortable. It was kind of a nice compliment, and I took it as such. I now, no longer feel AS self conscious in my short dress.
He he he
Things are better on the home front as well, which is great. I think I hit a low point last week, when I finally posted after so long. Things are looking up!
xoxoxo
Annie
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