The Bad Sister

Hi Guys,
So, my sister is mad at me. Really, really, really, really MAD!  I feel so badly, but at the same time, I don't accept her anger toward me as completely valid.  I will explain.

I mentioned in my previous post that we had a big party for my Dad's 70th, at my house on Saturday.  My sister, mom, brother, and I, "together" hosted.  I did the invites, bought the gift, provided the space for the party (clean up pre and post), made the punch.  My Sister ordered and picked up the cake, bought the decorations, ordered the food, put up the decorations, helped set up the snacks, put away the food, cleaned up (I didn't ask her to do any of that). My Mom set up the snacks, cleaned up, did a lot of the prep. Other cousins helped with this and that. My hubby and stepson cleaned the outside, set up the coolers on the deck, bought the ice, and generally did more than most men would.

My hubby noticed my sister was not herself, and mentioned it to me yesterday. I called her, and she started screaming that she is "sick of being treated like a serf", and that she would have liked to socialize, (like I did- she didn't say that, but it was implied). I tried to explain that I am not a mind reader (she assumed I should have known she was pissed, or just done more from the get go), and that since it was my house, I felt like I needed to show people where the bathrooms were, where to put the coats, check on the girls and the babysitter, and give people the tour (we bought the house a year ago this past November, and most people hadn't seen it yet).  Anyway, she is pissed. Not just at me, but at my brother and sister in law too, but she won't communicate that to them, she only exploded at me when I asked her what was wrong.

I love my sister so much, but the truth is, that we are not as close as I would like us to be.  There have been many times where I sense some resentment, but she says nothing. I know everyone is different, and that not everyone is as direct as me (good and bad trait, I know!!), and that I need to be sensitive.  I feel badly, but I suspect there is more to this anger than just this incident on Saturday.  In retrospect, I would have done things differently, but it's not like I had nothing to do but stand around, drink wine, and look pretty!  Believe me, even if people help put leftovers away, having 40 adults and 25 kids in your house, running inside and out, tracking mud everywhere leaves quite a bit to do when people leave.  I don't care about that, it's fine with me. I just resent that she has this victim mentatlity, but doesn't own up to her anger when she is experiencing it, but rather, letting it pile up and spew forth. 

I want to give here some space, me some space too, but I feel horrible, am sorry, but am sick of being the bad sister.

Thanks for letting me vent.

xoxoxo
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