Monday, Monday

Hello Friends!
Why does Monday come around so, so, quickly?  I had a wonderful weekend with my family- mostly doing regular stuff, library, food shopping, hanging out, laundry.  I am really enjoying my daughter and the age she is at. She is my little sidekick! Now that she's 2 yrs and 8 months, we actually have conversations. I love it!  She did tell me yesterday that I "have giant feet", and when I told her she was my "beautiful daughter" she told me I "am a beautiful woman" Woman!  Isn't that great? 

I could go on and on, but this is a blog about weight loss and lap bands, right?

Okay...if you insist! One more story about Morgan. So, we have this book, called Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  It's a great book. It has, as you can imagine, all of the classic nursery rhymes. Well, Morgan got it for Christmas last year, but we just started reading it this year. We had read it probably five times, or so, over the couse of two weeks, when as we started this time, I would recite the title of the nursery rhyme, and she would complete it!  Now, it started with Jack Be Nimble, but she just started and kept going! So proud....  s he even sang Frere Jacques in French! (as oppossed to....)

Okay, now to weight loss. I am staying the same, up a little, down a little. I think I am too tight. I was scheduled for a fill today, but pushed it to two weeks from now, because I was just there two weeks ago, and really, I don't need a fill. Maybe I need an unfill!? 

I am going to try what some have suggested is the way to think about the band....eat as LITTLE as possible. Take a minute between tiny bites.  I need to take smaller bites, and slow down even more. I hate to say this, but I hate eating this slow. I hate when my food gets cold, but if I take a smaller portion (need to start measuring, although I DO use salad plates), it won't be as much an issue.

On the hair front, it's still coming out. I am taking biotin, but it's coming out- mostly I notice when I wash it. I use Wen, I really love it, and I only wash my hair every other day, so maybe that will help slow down the loss??  I do have thick hair (did have?), but now it's normal- this is according to my stylist, who said she didn't notice much coming out. Whew. I hope I am imagining things, but I don't think so.

Boring post, but I need to keep blogging.

Smooches!

Double Feature Post- Part Two- YAY!

Hey  Guys!

Guess what?! I got an award! My first! I am so excited, and I thank Amanda, of http://lifeofahopefulloser.blogspot.com/ ! Thanks so much, it was really, really sweet of you!

First things first-  my job, as an award recipient, is to give you my five guilty pleasures, and then to make this award to three other bloggers who are so sweet.  Here goes:

Guilty Pleasures
1. Staying up late, drinking a cocktail or cup of tea, playing facebook games while the rest of the house SLEEPS!
- Okay, so this is one I indulge in quite a bit. Most of the time, its with a cup of tea and not a cocktail. and often it's when my hubby is still awake, but it is definitely ME time, and necessary!

2. Liking when my daughter wants to sleep in the bed with us, even though she kicks my hubby in her sleep.
- I love having her snuggle up to me as we fall asleep.  Another related, but non guilty pleasure is the lullabies I sing to her and the book reading before bedtime. It really completes me.

3. Aged cheddar cheese, pita chips, and good vino.
- Really yummy, and not horrible for the band if you limit to a few chips and chew, chew, chew, chew, chew..... and then chew again.  Basically, like Amanda, and almost everyone else, I love cheese. I just do. I am into extra, extra sharp aged cheddar these days, and pita chips are a new obsession too. LOVE.

4. Bathing in my jacuzzi triple wide tub, with a spiked frozen protien shake (spiked with Captain Morgan and ice cream).
- Now, I have only done this once, but man, was it a guilty pleasure! It was this past Monday, when we were home for MLK Day. Hubby took the kids outside to play in the snow and Mommy jumped in the tub with a book and a naughty drink. Pistachio gelato, Captain Morgan rum, a little vanilla protien powder and some skim milk. HELLO FROZEN HEAVEN.  The tub scorching hot, the bubbles were amazing, AND I brought in my book. FABULOUS!

5. Going for a spa day with my girlfriends- mani, pedi, massage and facial.

I did this once, but really I couldn't think of anything else that compares to #4. :)

I do love getting me time and getting prettied up. It's really important that I look put together for work, and the nails and hair time is necessary. I don't make enough time for this since I want to spend every free minute with my family since I work, but I need to do this more, AND NOT FEEL GUILTY!

So, my nominees for the sweetest award go to..... Drumroll, please...

Kristen, at http://catchytitlehere-elise.blogspot.com/ for just being a great commenter, and inspiration. I love her blogs, her generosity and her wit

Amanda, at http://amandakiska.blogspot.com/ for her thoughtful insights, support, and honesty. Thanks for being a great role model!

Jen, at http://jenslapbandjourney.blogspot.com/ She was my first follower, my first cheerleader, and is always so genuine, sweet and just lovable. Drazil and her are like the Laverne and Shirley of the blog world

I would give everyone out there a hug and an award too. I thank everyone who follows me, and who comments. It really makes me feel connected, which is sometimes hard for me, so truly, truly, truly, Thanks!

Love you guys!

xoxo

Blah and Yay! This is Blah!

This is a two part post. I started writing Blah, and then I noticed my buddy Amanda nominated me for an award, which totally made my day and hence the Yay! post to follow.

Blah

I have been feeling a little disconnected of late to the blog world- not that I am not reading posts, I mostly am, it's just been a stressful time for me. I am having some interpersonal communication challenges lately, am taking things too personally, and generally am being too sensitive. This is happening both in my professional and my personal life, so I know it IS me. I am contributing to this problem, and I need to stop. Stop being so insecure, easily threatened, etc. Who cares? I do, obviously, and I need to chill. Seriously.


All this brings me to the award! Yay!!! I feel validated! Also, I have to admit I have been coveting awards for a long time, and feeling like the fat girl again- unnoticed, unappreciated, unloved. Duh...we are or were all former fatties here, so I guess this low self worth thing is spreading into my blog life too. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Sometimes as I am writing this stuff, these realizations happen, then whammo.

Thank goodness it's Friday! Time to spend with the hubby, and kids. My little one needs to get a blood draw tomorrow, and my hubby and I are arguing about it. I hate the idea, and he hates it worse. He insists that it's b.s., she is healthy as a horse, and why traumatize the kid?? (She hates being restricted, or held down, more than anything in the world, and it's going to be a nightmare- she's only 2!) Does anyone out there have any suggestions or tips? Have your young children needed to get blood drawn?? 

I have mentioned in previous posts that her pediatrician is concerned about her weight, and wants to see the results to determine if there is a problem. I have been putting her 6 month follow up appt. off because I have been avoiding the blood work, and KNOW she is going to give me a hard time about it. I need to do this. The thing that is nagging at me is that this doctor is a bit of an alarmist- she jumps to specialists for everything, and my daughter is perfectly healthy. The kid has been sick once or twice in her two and half years.  She loves to eat.  What can I say, she is a typical Taurus.  I know I sound like a hippie new ager- not that there is anything WRONG with that, and maybe I am a little, but she does embody the characteristics of a taurus. Anyway!

I am getting cuckoo with this post, Blah, and the next post, Yay!, because I have been writing them on and off for over two hours now, and I need to get some work done!

Smooches,
A

Update

Well, I have been losing and gaining the same two or three pounds all week, which sucks. I also have been pb'ing my brains out at certain times of the day, or while eating certain foods. I had scrambled eggs for dinner the other night and I felt sick. Seriously? Scrambled eggs?? 

Now I have this weird feeling in my esophogus, like it's irritated or something. I hope I haven't stretched out my esophogus, or have throat cancer, or an ulcer on my esphogus. Rational? Not usually. I am in a paranoid place these last couple of days, my biorhythms must be off or something.

Can you guys send me some good vibes, of the non-cancer, stretched out, non-ulcerative esphogus variety?

Meanwhile I am going to consult my tarot cards to see what I should have for lunch.

xoxo
A

Reflux, Fills, The Snowstorm that Wasn't

So, big news today in blogland. Fills, reflux, snowstorms.  It must be January!

I am having a little reflux myself today, and I am not happy. I am an empathic person, but I don't think I could have emoted this from Gen and Amy.  Really. I think it has something to do with puking my brains out for two days straight, eating spicy food (stupid), and not paying attention.  Also, I did have a fill this week, and I am hoping it goes away quick (the heartburn). It's not convulsive spewing acid, thank God, just a little uncomfortableness in my chest. Yuck.

I did eat the insides of two Jamaican beef patties for lunch, and peanut butter in my protein shake this morning, which I just remembered gives me agita. I haven't had heartburn since before my surgery, and I don't miss it!  I am going to toast for dinner maybe, or some scrambled egg, or nothing.  Wait and see. I love tea, but it exacerbates things for me.

This weekend will be fun. Friends are coming over tomorrow, and we're excited to see them. My best friend, and her hubby- who my husband loves, and is one of his best friends now. We will probably play RockBand, talk, eat, drink, and enjoy the last of the Christmas tree! I am taking it down on Sunday, although, I love it so much, I am going to miss it. We got it a couple of weeks before Christmas, so it's not up THAT long, and it is gigantic- like 10 feet high, and four feet wide (or bigger) at the base.  I love all of my ornaments, and the lights are so pretty. I hate taking down the tree, but I will enjoy it for a couple more days.

New low today!

xxoxo

I'm Getting Back Into IT

Good news! All time low today (since pregnancy three years ago)! Yay!!  I feel thinner, and more with it, you know. I think the lack of food and water was messing with my head. When I came into work today people commented how "much better" I looked. True. I looked like warmed over road kill yesterday. Seriously. I took a picture of myself with my black berry and almost immediately signed up for botox and juvederm, which I am in total support of, btw.  Today, I look better, and I feel better. I ate, and I loved it. Protien shake and some maki without the rice (peeled it off and dipped the spicy tuna in the wasabi.

God, I love wasabi!

I am loving blogging again, and I love that I now have 40 followers! Welcome newbies. Now the pressure increases to be engaging, relevant, funny (perhaps), although I can make no promises about being funny.

All over the place, it's part of my attempt to be engaging.  :)

Speaking of engaging, and funny. True story:

Eleven years ago I met this guy- cute, stockbroker, great job, similar background to me, very smart, and a little younger than me. I thought I had hit the motherload. We were in love, and it happend fast. Between Thanksgiving and New Years, I spent every free moment at his place in Manhattan, and we would go for walks, go ice skating, go to lunch, make love, spent weekends walking around the city, shopping, etc. It was glorious.

The inevitable happened, and I became needy. I was so happy, but insecure in a way that is a big turnoff to men. I became sensitive, and in truth, (years later when common sense kicked in) he was probably a bit of an a-hole. He told me, "Annie, love. I truly love you, and if you only had a sense of humor I would marry you."

True story.  We broke up a few weeks later.  I mourned the loss of the relationship for a while, but soon after met my husband, and the rest is history.  I did think of him often though, and then about a year later, I learned that he was dead. He died. I am not sure how, and I don't think I can start looking into it, but I guess the moral of the story is that :

1. I am not that funny
2. Its probably a good thing, because if I were funny, I would have ended up a widow.

RIP Ray

xoxo
A

I Can SWALLOW Again!

Yay! The sweetest NP Frank took out .6 ccs, and now I am comfortably rockin 5.9.  A good number, and a BETTER Feeling!

Thanks for your well wishes!

xoxox