Hey Ladies,
Just wanted to wish you a boobilicous adventure this weekend! We are headed down to Florida for 10 days or so, to spend time with Hubby's family, and then a long weekend in Disney! Yay! It will be the first time for my daughter, who was three in May- I think she is the best age for this now- very excited!
I hope I can come to B(.)(.)Bs next year!
xoxo
Annie
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Update and Jeggins
Hello friends,
So. I am off the Zoloft, as I indicated in my post last week. So far, so good. Two things I notice immediately have changed- 1. My libido is in overdrive, and 2. I seem to have a bit more of an "edge" to me than I did while on the medication. Neither is a bad thing in my mind. It certainly provides me with more authenticity- I feel less blah, which is amazing.
I had my therapy appt. last week, and I go again today. I am excited. I was originally going to cancel, since I need to pick my child up right after, and her father can't pick her up today, but I think I am going to modify my session by either starting earlier, by 15 minutes, or by ending a little earlier. I would rather not cancel. I think it's too important to me right now, and I have some things to discuss with her.
I am down a pound! Yay! This is the same pound that I took credit for last week though, but had gained back. So, anyway, I am officially at my low weight during this journey. Yippee!
So, my family had a small birthday party for me on Saturday, and I had nothing to wear. I went to LB to see what was up- both with the "fashions" and my sizes. I take a 16W in pants and a 16 or 18 in tops! Yay! I bought a pair of jeggings and a nice top, along with a pair of ballet flats. Love! I can't believe I am wearing jeggings, but I really loved the way they looked. They made my legs look so skinny, for me, and the top had just enough to cover my mommy pouch. See pics below of the outfit:
I thought it looked pretty good!
(The pics above are not of me, but of the LB model from their website!)
xoxo
A
So. I am off the Zoloft, as I indicated in my post last week. So far, so good. Two things I notice immediately have changed- 1. My libido is in overdrive, and 2. I seem to have a bit more of an "edge" to me than I did while on the medication. Neither is a bad thing in my mind. It certainly provides me with more authenticity- I feel less blah, which is amazing.
I had my therapy appt. last week, and I go again today. I am excited. I was originally going to cancel, since I need to pick my child up right after, and her father can't pick her up today, but I think I am going to modify my session by either starting earlier, by 15 minutes, or by ending a little earlier. I would rather not cancel. I think it's too important to me right now, and I have some things to discuss with her.
I am down a pound! Yay! This is the same pound that I took credit for last week though, but had gained back. So, anyway, I am officially at my low weight during this journey. Yippee!
So, my family had a small birthday party for me on Saturday, and I had nothing to wear. I went to LB to see what was up- both with the "fashions" and my sizes. I take a 16W in pants and a 16 or 18 in tops! Yay! I bought a pair of jeggings and a nice top, along with a pair of ballet flats. Love! I can't believe I am wearing jeggings, but I really loved the way they looked. They made my legs look so skinny, for me, and the top had just enough to cover my mommy pouch. See pics below of the outfit:
(The pics above are not of me, but of the LB model from their website!)
xoxo
A
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Back in the Saddle Again!
Lovelies,
I am back in the saddle. The therapy saddle, that is. I did it- I finally got myself an appointment with a new therapist- and I am very excited! My appt is this evening, at 5pm. Hubby is picking up my lovely little girl, and I am getting a break.
Okay, so things are not perfect in BandAid land- like everyone else, I am trying to adjust my lifestyle to our economy, and sometimes it's just not easy. I realize, and have said many times, that I thank God for my problems- they are managable to me, and that is fine. Other people's problems are much worse than mine, so please don't think I am complaining. I'm not. What I am doing is taking charge of me- as the beautiful Read said earlier- I am "owning me". Life is, as the diving diva Barbara, has stated, "too short". It is. That is for sure.
I am not happy lately, and that's not good. It affects the people around me- home, work, everywhere. I owe it to myself and everyone around me to get my shit straight, and that's what I am starting tonight.
Interestingly, I have stopped taking Zol*ft, and I feel fantastic. I think I was numbed out, kind of not dealing with the stuff going on in my life- husband not working, mounting financial pressure, feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, etc. For me, Zol*ft helped me cope by not forcing me to cope- that's probably not clear. I feel almost like I was in a self induced emotional coma- I wasn't dealing with things because I just couldn't, and the meds kept things in check.
Lately, I feel like I am emerging from a coccoon. A fat coccoon, and a anti depressant coccoon. Yay me!
My little girl started preschool on Friday. God, I love that kid. She is my shining star, and the numero uno reason for me straightening myself out!
BTW, my birthday was Saturday, and I am another year older. I think I am going to seriously start lying about my age.
Lovalu!
A
I am back in the saddle. The therapy saddle, that is. I did it- I finally got myself an appointment with a new therapist- and I am very excited! My appt is this evening, at 5pm. Hubby is picking up my lovely little girl, and I am getting a break.
Okay, so things are not perfect in BandAid land- like everyone else, I am trying to adjust my lifestyle to our economy, and sometimes it's just not easy. I realize, and have said many times, that I thank God for my problems- they are managable to me, and that is fine. Other people's problems are much worse than mine, so please don't think I am complaining. I'm not. What I am doing is taking charge of me- as the beautiful Read said earlier- I am "owning me". Life is, as the diving diva Barbara, has stated, "too short". It is. That is for sure.
I am not happy lately, and that's not good. It affects the people around me- home, work, everywhere. I owe it to myself and everyone around me to get my shit straight, and that's what I am starting tonight.
Interestingly, I have stopped taking Zol*ft, and I feel fantastic. I think I was numbed out, kind of not dealing with the stuff going on in my life- husband not working, mounting financial pressure, feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, etc. For me, Zol*ft helped me cope by not forcing me to cope- that's probably not clear. I feel almost like I was in a self induced emotional coma- I wasn't dealing with things because I just couldn't, and the meds kept things in check.
Lately, I feel like I am emerging from a coccoon. A fat coccoon, and a anti depressant coccoon. Yay me!
BTW, my birthday was Saturday, and I am another year older. I think I am going to seriously start lying about my age.
Lovalu!
A
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Photo Essay- Before, After, Lunch, 90!!!! Pounds Down!
Hello Friends,
I am super excited, because I am 90 Pounds Down!!!!!!!
Here is a comparison shot of me from last July and today! I am 5'11, 255lbs, and take a size 16W. Yes, a 16W. I am tall and have a large frame, and a decent amount of muscle.
July 2010
I am super excited, because I am 90 Pounds Down!!!!!!!
Here is a comparison shot of me from last July and today! I am 5'11, 255lbs, and take a size 16W. Yes, a 16W. I am tall and have a large frame, and a decent amount of muscle.
July 2010
Today!
I am so excited! Hey, check out the collar bone in the today pic! And, it's the same string of pearls- notice how much longer they seem now???!!!
I am 5'11, 255lbs, and take a size 16W. Yes, a 16W. I am tall and have a large frame, and a decent amount of muscle.
I am jelly that I am not going to BOOBs, but, things are too hectic now for me to consider a fun trip without the fam. We are going to Florida for 2 weeks in the end of September/early October, and it conflicts. I want to go next year- hopefully, there will be one in 2012!
My little girl starts nursery school on Friday! I attended the orientation yesterday at 1pm- doesn't anyone work? Answer: Most Mom's stay home in my town. Oh well. I am also the only one who asked about the snack, drink, shoes, potty, swimming, etc. At least I didn't feel like the oldest one in the room! There was only one early twenties couple, the rest were 30+, which is a relief.
Love to all, back to the grind!
Annie
PS- I cannot comment from work, which is annoying. I read your blogs daily, and send you my support and love!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Great News!
My breast biopsy was negative! It is confirmed to be a fibroadenoma, and is a benign tumor! YAY! Now, I can relax, and focus on more pressing issues in my life- yeah, I've got those too.
Wonderful things in my life:
- I don't have breast cancer!
- My daughter is my sunshine, my moonlight, my love, and the light of my life
- My health is getting better with each pound lost- my bp, cholesterol, etc. are all excellent
- I've lost 87 pounds!
- My career is wonderful
- I passed my PMP! Woo Hoo!!
Things to improve on:
- Relationship with hubby- he's depressed, I'm in denial, he hasn't worked in two years- enough said
- Payoff bills, streamline expenses, build up nest egg
- Move more
- Live in the moment
This scare has me thinking that I need to start paying attention to what is happening, (or not happening) around me. I think I need to get a therapist or something. I hate whining on this blog- it's about my band, right? The other thing is that I am ashamed- ashamed my hubby could be perceived to be a loser, afraid that I am a loser by extension- or at least an enabling co-dependant doormat- :)
I am lucky that I can support myself, and my daughter. Being the sole family support, however, makes things tight. I need to see some effort from my husband. I know he has pain, but get back to the MD! I have made things plain that he needs to get an income, stat, but it doesn't seem to be working. He's very sensitive, and I hate fighting.
Didn't I say I wasn't going to whine??? Oh well.
Thanks for listening. The best thing- I don't have breast cancer!
Friday, August 19, 2011
A Lot Going On
So, I haven't posted this week because I haven't been ready to share something scary that is going on with me. I mentioned that I had my first mammogram on Friday of last week. I was called back in for additional films- they told me in advance this would happen, but I was nervous anyway. Long story short, after more films on the left, and an ultrasound, a lump was discovered in my breast.
To say that I am terrified is an understatement.
After crying hysterically, the radiologist told me that it appears to be a fibroadenoma (a benign tumor). They want to take a biopsy on Monday, to be sure that there is nothing to be concerned about.
I have shared this with some of my close friends and family, and the consensus is not to worry! I find it hard not to worry, but I am trying to stay positive, and not get alarmed over nothing.
The truth is that this is a wake up call- regardless of the outcome of Monday.
My weight is doing well, I am a pound or so up or down each day, but I think the stress is doing it to me, and maybe salt, as well.
This post is not a plea, but rather an attempt to share. I am fine.
Have a great weekend, and thank you for you support!!
Annie
xoxoxo
To say that I am terrified is an understatement.
After crying hysterically, the radiologist told me that it appears to be a fibroadenoma (a benign tumor). They want to take a biopsy on Monday, to be sure that there is nothing to be concerned about.
I have shared this with some of my close friends and family, and the consensus is not to worry! I find it hard not to worry, but I am trying to stay positive, and not get alarmed over nothing.
The truth is that this is a wake up call- regardless of the outcome of Monday.
My weight is doing well, I am a pound or so up or down each day, but I think the stress is doing it to me, and maybe salt, as well.
This post is not a plea, but rather an attempt to share. I am fine.
Have a great weekend, and thank you for you support!!
Annie
xoxoxo
Friday, August 12, 2011
BYOC!!!
There is NUSSING better than a Friday, is there?
Oh wait – yes there is. BYOC on a Friday! Or shoe shopping. With purses amuck. Or about a million other things BUT for right now I’ve got NUSSING but a little BYOC on a Friday – so take it or leave it!
BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy – 5 questions you can copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire – in an effort to get to know your fellow bloggers better and to give your blog brain a break!
Enjoy!
1. I have to do some MAJOR cleaning tonight…which is prompting me to ask…what is the absolute worst thing you hate to clean or cleaning chore you hate the most? (vacuuming, dusting, laundry, toilets, floors, etc.)
I dislike cleaning, but, it is a necessary evil! I don't mind cleaning the kitchen, the dishes, the counters, etc. I like doing laundry, the washing, drying and folding part are all fine. The putting away! NO!!!! I hate it. As a result, I often have a husband buying socks (they are clean and in the laundry basket, or one of them!), and about four filled baskets of clean laundry. Sigh.... I also dislike cleaning floors. Luckily, my hubby does that.
2. Brown or Black? Fly or Drive? Hot dog or Burger? Gold or Silver?
I like both brown and black, but have much more black in my wardrobe.
I like driving, and road trips are fun. Our recent vacations have all been by car- Hilton Head, Maine, Jersey Shore, Adirondacks, but, I do like to fly. I don't like sitting next to strangers though, but now that I have lost EIGHTY SIX POUNDS, I expect my next flight, at the end of the month, to Nashville for business, should be fine.
I like both hot dogs and good burgers, but, alas, neither like me at the moment. The band does not do well with burgers, and hot dogs are iffy.
Gold or silver...hmmm??? White gold and platinum are my faves!
3. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them or even if a relationships exists – and you then try to describe that person in 5 short sentences/words.
Maternal Grandmother
Loving
Outgoing
Died too young
Sunday dinners after mass
One of the best people to have ever lived.
4. Even if you don’t have kids, how do you feel about kids in multiple sports during their school years? Were you in MULTIPLE sports all during school? Forced or by choice?
My daughter is three, and we did try dancing school last year, but she didn't like to follow instructions, and the teacher was not attentive enough. We may try soccer, this year, maybe. My step son is not a joiner, although, he did play basketball in grade school
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Real life is good, I am coming down from the stress of studying like a maniac for the last five months, so I feel like I have too much time on my hands in the evening. Not that I am being productive (cleaning, laundry)! I am relaxing!
My weight is coming down, and that feels great. I am averaging two pounds a week, or so, and I love it. My band is a little finicky, but I have mostly figured it out. I got my hair done today!!!! Yay! I rewarded myself after getting my first mammogram. It didn't hurt, but is stressful. I am at the age to get one, so I did, must, I must admit it was anxiety provoking. I hate the unknown!
Smooches!!
Annie
xoxo
Oh wait – yes there is. BYOC on a Friday! Or shoe shopping. With purses amuck. Or about a million other things BUT for right now I’ve got NUSSING but a little BYOC on a Friday – so take it or leave it!
BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy – 5 questions you can copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire – in an effort to get to know your fellow bloggers better and to give your blog brain a break!
Enjoy!
1. I have to do some MAJOR cleaning tonight…which is prompting me to ask…what is the absolute worst thing you hate to clean or cleaning chore you hate the most? (vacuuming, dusting, laundry, toilets, floors, etc.)
I dislike cleaning, but, it is a necessary evil! I don't mind cleaning the kitchen, the dishes, the counters, etc. I like doing laundry, the washing, drying and folding part are all fine. The putting away! NO!!!! I hate it. As a result, I often have a husband buying socks (they are clean and in the laundry basket, or one of them!), and about four filled baskets of clean laundry. Sigh.... I also dislike cleaning floors. Luckily, my hubby does that.
2. Brown or Black? Fly or Drive? Hot dog or Burger? Gold or Silver?
I like both brown and black, but have much more black in my wardrobe.
I like driving, and road trips are fun. Our recent vacations have all been by car- Hilton Head, Maine, Jersey Shore, Adirondacks, but, I do like to fly. I don't like sitting next to strangers though, but now that I have lost EIGHTY SIX POUNDS, I expect my next flight, at the end of the month, to Nashville for business, should be fine.
I like both hot dogs and good burgers, but, alas, neither like me at the moment. The band does not do well with burgers, and hot dogs are iffy.
Gold or silver...hmmm??? White gold and platinum are my faves!
3. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them or even if a relationships exists – and you then try to describe that person in 5 short sentences/words.
Maternal Grandmother
Loving
Outgoing
Died too young
Sunday dinners after mass
One of the best people to have ever lived.
4. Even if you don’t have kids, how do you feel about kids in multiple sports during their school years? Were you in MULTIPLE sports all during school? Forced or by choice?
My daughter is three, and we did try dancing school last year, but she didn't like to follow instructions, and the teacher was not attentive enough. We may try soccer, this year, maybe. My step son is not a joiner, although, he did play basketball in grade school
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Real life is good, I am coming down from the stress of studying like a maniac for the last five months, so I feel like I have too much time on my hands in the evening. Not that I am being productive (cleaning, laundry)! I am relaxing!
My weight is coming down, and that feels great. I am averaging two pounds a week, or so, and I love it. My band is a little finicky, but I have mostly figured it out. I got my hair done today!!!! Yay! I rewarded myself after getting my first mammogram. It didn't hurt, but is stressful. I am at the age to get one, so I did, must, I must admit it was anxiety provoking. I hate the unknown!
Smooches!!
Annie
xoxo
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