Checking In

Howdy folks,
Just a quickie to say hi. I had an appt yesterday with Dr. K in SI. She is so beautiful in person- it was the first time I saw "her" as oppossed to her picture.  Anyway, I was up on the scale, but I know it's due to the TOM. For sure. I weighed myself the morning before and I was five pounds less! Five pounds. Whatever.

So, the period aside, I calculate that I have lost eight pounds from my last fill. Yay! Reality wise, it's more like 3, but we'll see next month. I did not have a fill, I told her I feel pretty good, not hungry before meals, etc. I met a few interesting people in the waiting room. It's awesome how people share their stories so easily!  I learned that if you have an iron deficiency, that black strap molasses is the way to go! Who knew?

So, tonight is our Employee Awards dinner. I'm excited. It sounds so lame, but it's nice to have a nice night out! My hubby is picking up my daughter, and spending time with his Mom, son, and sister, who will all spoil Morgan rotten, which is awesome, because I will be able to be out and guilt free. I have to drive home to NJ afterwards, but I will have one cocktail or glass of wine!  The affair is 3 hours or so, so it should not be a problem. 

Hope you are all enjoying Spring, and losing lots of weight!
xoxo
A

Hello, Green Zone for One, Please!

Yes, chicka likkas, I think I am in it. The green zone. I can't believe it. 

I am back to losing again, and it's wonderful. I have lost about 2.5 lbs per week since my fill last month. Really, really, awesome. I still move up and down a bit day to day, but mostly in the downward direction these days.

Aside from Easter dinner, I haven't really been hungry. I eat a little, and am learning my limits. I can tell when I CAN eat, and when I CAN'T- i.e., when I am loose enough to eat, or too tight to eat. I can really only eat enjoyably at lunchtime, which I eat with a hot cup of tea.

Breakfast is very iffy- a protien shake after my coffee, is a maybe, and most of the time, greek  yogurt is too thick early in the am.  I don't care, I'm not much of a breakfast person.  Dinner is hard to eat. If I do, I usually eat too fast, or take bites that are too big. I think I am hungry, but I am so tight, it's hard to keep anything down. I am going to try having a hot cup of tea first, we'll see. The thing is that when I don't eat at night, I am not hungry afterward. I may have a glass of wine, cocktail, or cup of tea later on in the evening. Depends, but I am not looking for snacks.


Friday I was off and got so much done- shopping, cleaning, playing with my daughter, laundry, food shopping, etc. I got home with Morgan, and just felt dead. I had such a pain in my back, radiating down my hip, and my knee bursitis was not helping. Agony. My MD called in a prescription for me, and now, I am all better. It's amazing how pain can affect everything- from your comfort level to your mood. Believe me, the effect on my mood was very bad. I tried to keep my daughter busy, I was super tight, and in agony, all day Saturday. Despite my agony, I took my daughter on a bunch of errands again, including the paint a pottery place, the pizzaria, the library, Avenue, and Walmart!  She was a trooper.  I needed to keep her out of the house, so my hubby and stepson could clean. They are a cleaning team! It's awesome to not have to clean. I hate it.

Anyway, by the time we got home Saturday afternoon, I was shot. My body was killing me, and my nerves were shot from dealing with my daughter who is in a very difficult phase right now. No listening, hitting, doing raspberries when I ask her to do something! It's very aggravating, but I know (HOPE), it's a phase. I love being with her, she's so funny sometimes.  Anyway, when I got home, my hubby let me know that the MD called in a script, and he picked it up from the pharmacy. Sweet relief!!


I hosted Easter at my home yesterday. We had a small group- hubby, Morgan and I. Mom and Dad. Sissy, brother in law, and the twins. It was a very relaxed day, although, that could have been the pain medicine I took for my back!  I made ham, scalloped potatoes, asparagus, carrots and biscuits. Hummingbird cake for dessert, and Mom brought cheesecake and rugelach. Yum. I couldn't eat much, but tasted everything.
 
 
The only trouble is that I am SOOO tired today. Totally tired. Like can't keep my eyes open, tired. I hate that. I didn't wash my hair today in the shower- sounds crazy, but I think it attributes to my lack of awakeness! When I am under the hot water, my head seems to clear, and help wake me up. Who am I kidding- it's the medicine and the lack of sleep that is making me tired! Today, I was up at 5:30- ugh. I didn't even take a pain pill today- who knows?

Anyway. I have an appt. on Wednesday of this week. I am not sure about a fill- let's see how I do on the scale.

xoxox

A

I Want To Scream

I am feeling a little emotional and insecure. I hate that!

On the one hand, I feel great about my appearance- my old clothes are fitting, and it's wonderful. I tried on a size 18 JNY dress (a classic from 8 years ago!), and it fit! I couldn't believe it. I am so confused about sizing though. I gained weight after having my daughter, and my body has changed. I am smaller in some areas than others (waah...the perils of breast feeding and losing 55lbs), and bigger in others- stomach in particular. 

On the other hand, I have let one stupid conversation with a collegue to get me all insecure that I am being "passed up". Lately, a flurry of emails announcing promotions, etc. have been coming around. I haven't been pursuing anything specifically of late, since my daughter is small, and I HAVE work/life balance now, LOVE my team, am extremely fairly compensated, and love my job. I feel like I want to be one of the top dogs here, and as others inch their way up around me, while I stay where I am, it gets upsetting. Not that I necessarily WANT a different job/title/ etc. I run my organizations project management department, we manage strategic people, process, and information system projects- basically, anything with a large budget.  I have a lot of responsibility, but I don't "own" the work I do. Think internal consultant.

I am a director. Not bad. It would be nice to be a VP, but whatever. Do I want to get into operations? I am not sure. I kind of like what I do now. Someday, I would like to get back into operations, but I don't know if the time is right.  Why do I need to compare myself to others, and when I do, why is it that I feel shitty afterward. I am in a great place in my career,  and home life. I want to appreciate it.

Maybe this will help.

I actually feel better.

xxoxoxoxoxox
A

PS- If none of this makes sense, sorry!

Meetings at 4pm On A Friday

Really?

Happy Sunday!

Feeling better post un-fill, although, I need to be more careful than I ever have been before- duh, I have a lap band...that's what supposed to happen. I am not hungry at all, although I am very thirsty.

I felt kinda tight today, but was dying of thirst while on the way to Lowe's to buy a bunch of outdoor stuff. My hubby and Robby went in the Honda, and Momo and I went in the FJ. Enroute to the Holmdel Lowes I rech for my water and take a big gulp. Thank goodness for the lights on Rt. 35, I grabbed a bag that was on the seat next to me, and slimed out the water...onto my sweater, all over my jeans, and lap! Damn bag had a huge hole in it. Good times.

Morgan was in rare form, and I was very stressed out all day with her. She doesn't want to do anything I ask her to do- go on the potty, pick up the toys...it goes on and on.  At the grocery store, she was hungry. A banana, a granola bar, some crackers later, she announced in her loudest voice- MOMMY!!!!!!! I WANT A SANDWICH!!!!!!!!! Desperate now, I ask what kind? MACARONI AND CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She screamed.  One woman in particular thought she was adorable- "so CUTE!  That blonde hair, and blue eyes...what a beauty! She's not even three yet???  She must look just like your husband!!!!  Wow, her verbal skills are so excellent..." Blah, blah, blah.  She is a terror on wheels!

I find the more stressed out I get, the tighter I get.  Anyone else have that problem???

A good weekend all around though! How was yours??
xoxoxo
A

ps- I love my munchkin, she is just going through a particularly DIFFICULT stage! (I HOPE) :)

Bursitis, Fill, Night of Sliming, Unfill, Lost Follower :(

Hey there,

So, what a week I have had! My eating has been so-so lately, and I needed to get me some religion on the band front. I scheduled an appointment in Staten Island, where the NYU docs come monthly- it is more convenient, and the parking is a lot cheaper than going to Manhattan!

Tuesday in the office, I suddenly was besieged with a terrible pain in my knee. It came on suddenly, and was radiating up and down my right leg for the whole afternoon. I decided to drive the 1.5 hours home anyway (mistake), and pick my daughter up at my Mom's in SI. The entire ride there was intensely painful. My leg was killing me! Somehow the driving position is the worst one of all. I stayed home Wednesday, worked from home yesterday, and then saw a doctor for my knee- which wasn't getting better, btw.  The doctor took an x-ray, and felt around my knee and leg. I did some movements, and the final diagnosis is bursitis. The treatment is an anti-inflammatory.

Since we were both home, the hubby and I decided to go for Thai food after the doctor's appointment- I ordered skewered chicken strips with peanut sauce and pickled cucumbers. Yum. I could only eat two of them, and a small mini spring roll, when I had to go off to PB. Yuck. By the time we were done with lunch, I was feeling okay, and decided to make the drive to SI for my fill.  The scale has been all over the place lately, and I thought a fill would be just what I need, mentally, and physically.

I did lie when the doctor said, "no regurgitation, reflux, or vomiting, right?" I said, I do not have reflux, but I do PB sometimes when I am not super careful.  He said, "one cc sound good?" I just nodded. I sipped the water afterward, and it felt a little funny, but okay. The entire ride home, however, was hell. My knee was in agony, and the water was not staying down. I could have turned around to go back to the MD's office, but instead I pressed on, because at the same time, my cell starts ringing, and it turns out I got the delivery dates wrong on our fresh milk and egg delivery- the guy was cool on the phone, and agreed to leave the stuff outside our house, and I could pay next time.  This was my first delivery from the dairy co-op, so I felt embarrassed, but happy, that they were so patient. I did want to rush home, however, because I didn't like the idea of leaving milk, cream, butter, and eggs outside the house for any longer than I had to. Since the products are "raw", and this was my first delivery, I wasn't sure what to expect.

Long story short, I got home, put the stuff away, and decided to have a glass of milk. It's liquid, so I figured it would be ok. Not so ok. It, along with the water I had been sipping in the car came up. All night I was trying to sip tea, water, iced tea, etc. to no avail. I finally went to bed, and was up half the night coughing up water and SLIME. I never saw so much slime in my life! How is it that a few sips of water can generate gallons of slime? Not to gross you out, but it is a wonder, isn't it?

Flash forward to today- knee still hurts, at work, decided to get a little unfill. Went off to NYU at my lunch time, and Frank took out .6. I think I now have 6.3 in my band. I was able to drink the water, and just finished my protein shake! Sweet relief!!  The good news is that I have lost nine pounds since my last visit in February. I need to keep it up though, and hopefully this fill will do the trick.

Lastly, I have lost a follower. Waah. I know I am not as engaging, or dramatic as some, but it really sucks to see that number go down!  Was it something I said, or didn't say?  Alas, I am not the most popular blogger, but that's not what it is about anyway.

Now. Back to work.  TGIF!!

Have a great weekend! I will be digging myself out of a mountain of laundry, drinking liquids, and playing with my beautiful daughter! Hopefully the knee will have a dramatic recovery since the hubby, kids, and I were planning on a nice bike ride.  Oh well.

xoxooxoxxoox

A

Goals

As the first quarter reports begin to roll in, and since I hit my 6 month bandiversary on 4/1, I have decided to move ahead with some goals myself, for the remaining three quarters of 2011.  I am only going to have five- one important rule of goal setting is to make them reasonable, and measurable.

Q2'11 Goals (4/1-6/30)


*Lose 30 pounds by June 30th

*Journal my food in myfitnesspal daily

*Drink 8-10 glasses of water per day
*Join the gym, and go three times a week

*Blog at least 3 times a week